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Zoroastrianism is heretical
and makes The Baby Jesus jealous!
May it rot in the fires of his judgement!

Fire worshippers.

Zoroastrianism is the fire worshipping religion the Persians and the slaves of the Persians in the Persian empia followed until they got their asses kicked by Gerard Butler and decided to worship him instead. There are still a few hundred thousand of them left around...not for long, though, if Stephen has anything to say about it. Christianity is absolutely nothing like it, of course. I mean, they worship fire (Fire is only symbol, no worship) for christ sakes! If it isn't blatantly obvious who they were influenced by, I don't know what is!

Sworn Enemies Edit



Zoroastrian Priests and Altar boys.

How Their Beliefs Threaten AmericaEdit

It is claimed that they influenced Christianity, but we know in our gut that it was the Bearisees(Persian Jewish Bears) who were influenced by this blasphemy! The Bearisees are the baby Jesus' arch enemy!

In an attempt to infiltrate America's youth they have converted the like of Lewis Black and Patton Oswald to the dark side, and have renamed their religion as Comedy Roastrianism. Thankfully, Stephen is there fighting the good fight on Comedy Central. God bless you Stephen Colbert! They cover their corpses in honey for bears to eat them as a funeral.

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