Al Franken
Zbigniew Brzezinski has earned

With a name like Zbigniew Brzezinski, how could he not be a commie?

Born in Poland, Zbigniew grew up surrounded by commies. His teacher was a commie, the mailman was a commie, the milkman was a commie, the local handyman was a commie and most likely his mother was also a commie feeding him commie milk from her commie breasts.

If he knew who his father was, most likely he was a commie too.

So it came as no surprise that Zbigniew's first job upon his arrival in America was as National Security Advisor to Jimmy Carter, America's peanut-farming commie president.

Mr. Brzezinski was scheduled to appear on "The Colbert Report" on June 28, 2007, but did not. Well, it's like they say:

"You can take the coward out of Communist Russia, but you can't make him American."

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