Zachary Taylor

12,431pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Zachary Taylor
was the 12th President of the United States of America
Party: Whig   Term of Office: 1849-1850


I mean, seriously, look how much he sucked!

Plain and simple: one of the worst presidents ever.

Zach taylor

1848 campaign ad claiming Zachary Taylor butchered Mexicans. It is unclear if it is a pro- or anti-Taylor ad.

That cholera really showed him. His cut and run strategy lead to the Compromise of 1850.

His nickname was "Old Rough and Ready". Enough said.

One of the 5 "Mediocre Presidents" joining Tyler, Filmore, Hayes, and William Henry Harrison, who died in thirty days.

Even his children sucked. For instance, Sarah Knox Taylor married future Confederate president Jefferson Davis; she died from malaria three months after the marriage. Serves her right.

Rules For College KidsEdit


12th Cousin, twice removed of Tim "the toolman" Taylor

64% responsible for the sideburns craze that hit (or will hit) the nation in the 1870's, 1970's, and 2070's.

Supreme Court appointments: none

States admitted to the Union: none

Fart jokes told during presdential addresses: 23,619

Known as a visionary that was ahead of his time, before the end of his term he addressed the media with an exit strategy out of Iraq

First known man to find Waldo

A family man who only beat his wife 4 times a month, much less then recommended in the Washington Post in 1832 which suggested a beating should be handed out 8-12 times a month

Is behind every murder of Kenny from 1999-2002

Once shot a man 12 times and stabbed him 6 for spelling his name with a 'k'

With his notable stutter and suspect spelling, he collaborated with Alex Trebek to invent "Hooked on Phonics" to improve his speech.

Went through a disturbing fad later in his life where he would wear extremly ugly hats. After 8 straight months of wearing a hat with a 4 foot feather sticking out of the side, his family finally decided to have an intervention and check him into the Betty Ford Clinic.

Has a uncontrolable case of "the jungle fevar"

Popularized boxers over briefs. Generations after still thank him to this day

Had noticibly small hands, a lot like carnival folk.

Often credited with popularising the improper pronunciation of "nukular"

Smiled only on Saturdays.

Was champion of the White House Fantasy Baseball league from 1847-1849

Invented the time machine, but lost it in the year 2017

The people of Florida have declared the page,
"Zachary Taylor"
UGLY by a 53-47 margin.
You better get some monkeys to edit this page.
As for Zachary Taylor, plastic surgery may be in order...

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki