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|Big Wonderful, I mean Big Liberal WYOMING |
|Capitol:||Sheridan Wyo Rodeo|
|Official Language:||Larry The Cableguyenese and drunken racial slurs|
|State Bird:||Stone hurled into air|
|State Motto:||I ain't gonna hit ya. Like hell I ain't!|
|Nickname:||"Big Liberal Wyoming"|
|Governor:||The corpse of John Wayne is currently serving his 37th Consecutive term|
|State Anthem:||Free Bird, played on a rape whistle|
|Population:||20 humans, millions of bears.|
|Principal imports:||Japanese tourists|
|Principal exports:||Postcards of Old Faithful|
|Principal industries:||There are no known industries in Wyoming|
|Fun Fact # 1:||Wyoming is known as Montana's cancerous growth|
|Fun Fact # 2:||Dick Cheney learned how to shoot a shotgun with precise accuracy here|
Wyoming has the lowest population of humans in the US, but the highest population of bears, who mostly come from Montana.
The 2005 film Brokeback Mountain takes place in Wyoming, (but was not filmed in Wyoming because Canada was much more Wyoming-esque than Wyoming) causing anyone outside of the United States to think of only homosexual intercourse when someone mentions "Wyoming."
Wyoming is known as "Big Wonderful Wyoming" to gay truck drivers, but its "Big Liberal Wyoming" to people like our good friend Stephen Colbert. I mean, sure its a big state in area, but its not wonderful AT ALL! Wyoming is a state FILLED with man eating bears! Also, God put an hourglass, or volcano, for Wyoming. He called it "Yellow Stone". But then he realized his mistake. He made Yellow Stone so big, that it will blow up east and west! It would spread lava from California to Missouri! But still, God hates Wyoming for its bears, and when Yellow Stone erupts, say goodbye to the western states!
In 1994, Wyoming became the fist state to allow women the right to vote (on the condition that they vote according to their husbands' wishes) once it was discovered that not enough men resided in the state to make any votes official. While women continue to hold this right, they are not allowed to have jobs or drive automobiles.
- A fence, similar to the border fence in Arizona and Texas, is being planned on the south and west border of Wyoming to prevent it from being discovered. Completion of the fence is expected in 2050 due to the lack of illegal immigrant labor, expected high winds, and non-stop blizzards. There are no fences being planned for the east and north borders as all Kneebraskans are watching football, Dakotans are harvesting corn, and Montana is planning the next KKK uprising.
- Registering as a Democrat is considered an offense punishable by hanging in Wyoming.
- Anyone caught not drinking after dark within the state is drawn and quartered for being "some kinda fag".
- The word Wyoming is derived from an Arapahoe word meaning "desolate wind-swept hell-hole".
- The popular ski-town of Jackson Hole is not actually part of Wyoming, as it was annexed by California in 1987. Most Wyoming residents supported this move as Jackson is considered "quite gay" by most gay-cowboys.
- It never actually snows in Wyoming. Any snow found in Wyoming was originally deposited in Idaho, Montana, Nebraska or the Dakotas and only blew in on the interminably oscillating winds. 90% of all snow in Wyoming is to be found traveling horizontally due to these strong winds. The remaining 10% is packed together, becoming ice, and creating the biggest ice skating rink in the world, also known as Interstate 80.
- 90% of native Wyomingites are decendant from bastard children of Butch Cassidy and/or the Sundance Kid.
Satan bears in WyomingEdit
Wyoming is home to the Devil's Tower, where Satan's pet bear lives. If anyone gets eaten by this bear, that person will die AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! This is the reason why no one lives there. People are trying to kill this bear, but they havent killed him.... yet.
Non-Gay-Cowboy Wyoming LandmarksEdit
- Wyoming is home to the Tetons, the most beautiful mountains in the lower 48. They are named the Tetons (French for titties), because they look like nice perky boobs, and that is definitely not gay.
- Old Faithful is nature's money shot. All
semenwater from Old Faithful lands on Idaho Senator Larry Craig's face, and he loves it. Come to think of it, it's also pretty gay.
- 2710 Thomes Avenue, Cheyenne, Wyoming
Famous Gay-Cowboy WyomingitesEdit
- Dick Cheney, anyone named Dick is gay, it is a fact.
- Annie Proulx - makes books that lead to movies about gay cowboys, and that's pretty gay.
Famous Non-Gay-Cowboy WyomingitesEdit
- Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, need I say more?
- Chris LeDoux, he would kick the crap out of John Denver.
A Typical Day in WyomingEdit
Getting eaten by bears.