Protesters Disrupt The International Olympic Torch RelayEdit


  • Help! Fire! Fire! Put out that flame!-- 12:06, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
  • If they think the protesters in Paris are nuts just wait till they come to San Francisco. --Grazon 21:43, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
  • If they think Jacobian French protesters (Reign of Terror) or McCarthyist American protesters (White Terror) are violent, just wait until the torch is touring Tibet... they will know the true meaning of Terror.-- 00:20, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
It was so bad in San Fran that they had to all but cancel the North American leg. --Grazon 01:05, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
  • ...because Toronto was simply too controversial a choice. - The Lake Effect 23:21, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
I wish it was in Canada too. --Grazon 01:05, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
In other news, Canadians dress up seals as Buddhist monks' clothing before the clubbing to garner votes to get the Summer Olympics in Toronto for 2016. - The Lake Effect 05:31, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Olympic relayers are rushed to the hospital after it is learned that the Olympic torch contains unsafe levels of lead. --Sneakers 04:29, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

General Petraeus Testifies Before CongressEdit


  • All three presidential candidates are on the committee, it's time to use triplespeak.-- 00:32, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
  • I am sick of you liberals pushing for these hearings! Can it wait for my nail polish to dry!?--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 21:47, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
  • West side biatchs! --Grazon 06:21, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Petraeus describes the size of wife's breasts. "I wouldn't be away from these if I didn't believe in the Iraq mission", Petraeus says.--Mr SmokesTooMuch 22:03, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Quebec City Armory Burned DownEdit


  • Yet another example of a Quebec public building with a problematic open-air roof.--OHeL 23:30, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Separatists dealt another blow as their chief WMD stockpile is ruined. - The Lake Effect 23:23, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Police Find 130 Marijuana Plants In Burning HomeEdit


  • Evidence disappears in the custody of two very happily stoned police officers. - The Lake Effect 23:25, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
  • "C'mon Dave, take the picture already so we can suck, err, I mean blow this joint!" --Careax 05:34, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Researchers Use Ice Cores For Climate StudiesEdit


  • "But what we'd really like now is some vodka, rum, and whiskey. You know, for Climate Studies." - The Lake Effect 23:26, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Monks Protest China's Tibet PolicyEdit


  • Those monks are looking FAB-ulous! - The Lake Effect 23:30, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
  • I'm not getting paid enough for this bull***t. --Grazon 03:04, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Retired Subway Cars Used To Create ReefsEdit


  • "That f---in' subway car couldn't keep his dirty mouth shut. Now he's gonna sleep with the fishes." Just another Thursday on the East River. - The Lake Effect 01:19, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Tubby and Stinky watch as Spraycan McGee is thrown to his watery demise.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:24, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Amtrak finally finds a proffitable way to operate. --Careax 05:36, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

First Lady Laura Bush Receives Leadership AwardEdit


  • Eight years of non-stop Xanax and all I get is a pretty piece of glass? Ooh, a pretty piece of glass!--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 22:30, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
  • "We would have given this to your husband, but, well, you know..." - The Lake Effect 10:09, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

The Greatest President Ever Delivers Quintessential Speech On IraqEdit


  • Someone get that f*cking monkey off stage. --Grazon 17:28, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
  • "Iraq is very important in today's world, and I'm proud of how my Iraq has progressed. My Iraq is blue with a green scroll wheel, and I use it to listen to Garth Brooks, Vanilla Ice, and Mr Roger's Neighborhood." --Careax 07:07, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Companies Turn To Scanners To Replace Paper Time SheetsEdit


  • "We would have gone with those blood-operated turnstiles from Gattaca, but there was a sale on handprint scanners at the time." - The Lake Effect 10:11, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

Big Ben Celebrates 150th AnniversaryEdit


Absolut Vodak Apologizes For AdEdit


  • Who ever made this ad is stupid as hell. --Grazon 22:11, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
  • It's amazing what looks Absolutly hilarious when you're smashed out of your skull on overpriced Communist vodka. --Careax 06:59, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Meanwhile, elsewhere in Bizarro World: Peewee Herman is re-elected to the office of US President for the 6th time, Stephen Colbert opens his bear refuge, and Osama bin Laden wins another Oscar for his latest romantic comedy. --Careax 06:59, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Prohibition Ended 75 Years AgoEdit


  • Gosh how to celebrate this aniversary? --Grazon 22:12, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

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