New York Governor Eliot Spitzer Linked To Prostitution RingEdit

"Yes, the call cost me $4,300. She quoted $300 over the phone, but when she came to my room, she demanded another four grand. She also asked me if I happened to have a paper bag." --OHeL 01:25, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

  • "Yes, I did try to pay my wife for sex at first, but it just didn't seem to work for me." - The Lake Effect 08:59, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
  • Another victim falls foul of those ridiculously expensive 900 number sex lines. --Careax 02:23, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
  • I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Ms. Lewinsky. It was a chick named Kristen." --El Payo 10:09, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • I will now devote more time to spend with my family, and by family, I mean our new pimping business. We know a lot of music and Wall Street execs, and those guys LOVE whores. My wife and I are going to be multi-millionaires. Suck it, New York. - The Lake Effect 15:48, 14 March 2008 (UTC)

Snow Storm Hits Ohio, IndianaEdit

"Put your hands on the hood of the vehicle where I can see them!" --OHeL 01:27, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Dutch Ship Run Aground In France By High WindsEdit


  • Question is who will surrender first? 04:32, 11 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon
Nice! --Careax 02:26, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
Early frontrunner for the 2008 Truthies. --El Payo 10:09, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • Afghanistan launches the first ship in their new national navy. With very limited success. --Careax 02:26, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

The Space Shuttle Endeavor Begins 16-Day MissionEdit


  • Launch mistaken for God's fart. - The Lake Effect 23:35, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Germany's Latest Polar Bear Star, FlockeEdit


  • Like all bears this one is just another worthless flocker. 18:17, 11 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon
  • Yet another soldier in Germany's polar bear army. Something is amiss... - The Lake Effect 23:37, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

69-year-old TV Actress Charged With Marijuana PossessionEdit


  • 20+years ago the idea of Mary in Jail would have been the stuff fantasy's are made of.02:27, 13 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon
  • Solid proof drugs make you shrink. --Careax 02:20, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
  • Who knew what would have happened when The Professor taught Mary Ann how to make a bong out of coconuts and palm leaves. - The Lake Effect 06:44, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

Activists Protest Japan's Whaling TraditionEdit


  • Yes throw a harpoon at them that'll win 'em over. 18:58, 12 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon

Barack Hussein Obama Wins Mississippi Democrat PrimaryEdit


  • "Heheheheheheh.............I should punch that guy in the face." --DorkVader 12:50, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Rare White Killer Whale Spotted Off Alaskan CoastEdit


  • So if a whale is a killer, it has to be BLACK? Oh, please... - The Lake Effect 01:53, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • The eminem of the orca world. 02:27, 13 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon

N.Y. Lt. Governor David Paterson To Replace SpitzerEdit


  • " 'Spitzer Swallowed?' I'm sorry, I cannot comment on the condition of the callgirl at the time of the alleged offense." --OHeL 01:07, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • "No, I don't see myself enjoying prostitutes..." - The Lake Effect 01:49, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • "I solemly swear that I will not partake of $4,000 prostitutes during my term of office as Governor of New York State. But, since I'm legally blind, don't discount an odd happenstance tryst with a $60 crack whore from Syracuse." --OHeL 03:38, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • He's blind? quick someone try and replace the Bible he's going to be sworn in on with a copy of I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert! 17:13, 13 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon
  • Move over Arnie. Due to recent revelations, the new Governor of NY will now be officially known as Governor Stud-Muffin. --Careax 01:09, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

'Kristen' In Spitzer Scandal IdentifiedEdit


  • I don't know; she looks more like Governor Schwarzenegger's type. - The Lake Effect 01:52, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • I'd tap that. 02:29, 13 March 2008 (UTC)Grazon
  • I have $2150 on me right now - we can go halfsies. - The Lake Effect 10:32, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  • The new cover girl for the beauty of conservatism. Bi 03:35, 13 March 2008 (UTC)

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