Senator Larry Craig Holds A Press ConferenceEdit


(I actually heard this one from a news broadcast.)

  • Sex scandal brings senator to his knees - The Lake Effect 21:53, 1 September 2007 (UTC)

Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson Speaks To VFWEdit


  • The more senile veterans wonder, "how did District Attorney Branch escape from my television set?" - The Lake Effect 23:21, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
  • "Holding your fists up like this is the first step to looking majestic!" - The Lake Effect 22:13, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

Soccer Player David Beckham Injures Himself During GameEdit


  • Beckham shows spectators how to kick like an ass. - The Lake Effect 22:15, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

Condoleeza Rice Contemplates Her LegacyEdit

Oh yes she does.


"My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard..."--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 21:43, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Denver Promotes Water ConservationEdit


"I just saw Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan over there... GET DOWN!" - The Lake Effect 22:57, 7 September 2007 (UTC)

  • Not even the most cunning disguise could keep the Minneapolis airport janitor safe from Larry Craig. --Careax 03:48, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

British Troops Leave Basra, Iraq, Photo #1Edit


  • Wankers prepare pole for operation sodomize.--Pro-Lick 23:25, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

British Troops Leave Basra, Iraq, Photo #2Edit


AT&T Ends "Time of Day" ServiceEdit


The Homeland Security Agency has deployed the latest in surveillance equipment for its field operatives. --Randroid 01:00, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Jerry Lewis Hosts MDA Labor Day TelethonEdit


Greenpeace Protester in AustraliaEdit


  • Now we know where all the polar bears are disappearing to... they're going off to school to write liberal propaganda! --Careax 03:44, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Heat Wave Hit Southern CaliforniaEdit


Panama Celebrates Opening Of CanalEdit


This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, I see the shore!
Nena yells a retro cry
As 99 red balloons go by
--Careax 03:42, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

(Everyone's a Captain Kirk!) - The Lake Effect 01:54, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

The Greatest President Ever Personally Oversees The SurgeEdit


In a meeting with Count Dooku, our President reassures the public that the rebels will be defeated. --Randroid 21:38, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

  • Condoleezza Rice: "You can get rid of that guy? How quickly?[1]"--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:11, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "Hehe, you're my new best friend. I think I'll call you towel head." --Careax 04:12, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

The Greatest President Ever With General PetraeusEdit


  • "You're right sir! Your breath does smell like freedom!" --Careax 04:10, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

A Man Jumps Through Flaming HoopsEdit


  • General Petraeus practicing before he has to answer questions from Russ Feingold.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:10, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "RING O' FIRE!!" RedManiac 00:26, 18 September 2007 (UTC)

Despite popular belief, rings of fire do not actually burn, they scald.

General David Petaeus Testifies Before CongressEdit


  • "Hey look! I showed up, I'm reading the report, what more do you want? You have no idea how hard it was just getting dressed this morning, I mean, seriously, look at all these medals. And you guys expect me to answer questions too?"--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:07, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "Stephen Colbert's 'General Butt Gay Us' is way worse than General Betray Us."--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:08, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

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