CNBC's Jim Cramer Visits Dr. Colbert's Sister News ProgramEdit


Cramer: "Hey! You guys told me I was going to be on the Colbert Report! Who the hell watches THIS?" --DorkVader 16:36, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Disgraced Financier Bernard Madoff Pleads GuiltyEdit


  • Madoff: "Can someone explain to me why am I moving into the servant's quarter?" --Mutopis 03:03, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
  • Who's a guy gotta bribe around here for half-decent service?

California Governor Hosts Bodybuilding CompetitionEdit


  • I am so inspired by this young lady, I'm thinking of going back into bodybuilding. Now, where are my cans of spinach?--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 03:54, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
  • "Gentlement, I am absolutely confident this woman could kick my ass. Camaaaaaahn!" --DorkVader 16:36, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Kellogg's Company Donates Cereal To Food BankEdit


  • "NOW WITH 10% MORE WEED!!!" --Mutopis 03:05, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
  • But honestly? You're going to drop PHELPS? To quote Adam Coralla, Kellogg's products ARE stoner food!

New Mexico Law Enforcement Discovers Marijuana Hidden In CansEdit


  • I'm stoned to the finich 'cause I eats me spinach! -- Atenea del Sol 05:11, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
  • the Kellog's company is denying any involvement in the shipment.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 06:20, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Bengal Tiger Visits Bottlenose Dolphin ExhibitEdit


  • I'm bigger than you, I'm smarter than you, I'm cuter than you, and this glass is bulletproof. Suck it, kitty! --Atenea del Sol 05:08, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
  • I bet you taste just like tuna. --Atenea del Sol 05:09, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
  • It's the eye of the dolphin it's the thrill of the trout... --DorkVader 16:31, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Mattel Celebrates 50th Anniversary Of Its Barbie DollEdit


  • Causing adolescent boys to have unrealistic expectations for 50 years. --Grazon 20:59, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

TSA Begins Live Test Of Full-Body ScannersEdit


  • Beauty IS only skin deep

Forbes Includes Mexican Drug Lord In Their 2009 Richest Person's ListEdit


  • The King Pimp, The Cocaine Czar, and the Weed Lord realized that they have lost again this year against the Mexican Drug Lord... --Mutopis 03:05, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

European Space Agency Releases Image Showing "Space Junk" Orbiting EarthEdit


  • . . . the real reason that Earth ranks so low on the interstellar travel circuit - when's the last time YOU spent your vacation touring a junkyard?
  • 9 out of 10 intergalactic travellers polled say they avoid fleabit dives like the one pictured here. --Atenea del Sol 23:09, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
  • No wonder the Martains are extinct. Honestly, you would kill yourself too if you lived next door to a compost heap. --DorkVader 16:34, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

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