Treasury Secretary Geithner Arrives For News ConferenceEdit


"I get this uncanny feeling that I'm being stalked by, I don't know, democracy or some shit."

  • "It's getting very, very conservative in here...." --DorkVader 13:40, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

California Grape Harvest DownEdit


"When I saw the job title 'bungholer", I was imagining something different."

Wild Koala Takes Drink From Australian FirefighterEdit


"It's oll roit, mite. A little vodka'll put ye in the mood for some rumpy-pumpy."

Ford's Theater To Commemorate Lincoln's Birthday With Grand ReopeningEdit


Lady: Do you think Obama would like to see a play here? Why not? oh.......right. --Grazon 18:41, 16 February 2009 (UTC)

Owner Of Peanut Company In Salmonella Scandal Takes Fifth Before CongressEdit


My hypnotic tie will keep you from detecting my lies. Especially you acidheads.

  • "I, Mr. Peanut Guy, do solemnly swear to not spread liberal diseases, and to get my ass kicked by Stephen Coblert on the next Colbert Report, then thank him for it." --DorkVader 17:49, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

Sussex Spaniel Wins 2009 Westminster Best In ShowEdit


"They must like it when my little red thing is out."

CEOs For 8 Banks Testify Before CongressEdit


All together now! "You had it coming! You had it coming! You only have yourselves to blame...." Atenea del Sol 19:02, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

"The folks a top the ladder
are the ones the world adores -
So boost me up my ladder kid
and I'll boost you up yours!"
"When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!!"--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 07:30, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

Business Slows For American Fast Food Restaurants In ChinaEdit


Word got out that it was made of actual chicken, not dog. Sales plummeted.

Scientists Mark The 200th Anniversary Of Charles Darwin's BirthEdit


"This garden looks far too organized to have happened randomly."

And when he realized you were right Richard Dawkins dropped his pants and took a dump in the garden while Pat Robertson wacked it with glee.

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