The Greatest Portraits Ever Unveiled In WashingtonEdit


  • "Honey, why are the people in the back bringing a rope?" --Mutopis 17:09, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
I don't know but I'm planning to shove you forward and then run behind that curtain. --Grazon 18:01, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

The Greatest Vice President Ever Attends Ceremonial Unveiling Of The Portrait Of The Greatest President Ever!Edit

Attending with him is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court


  • Dick Cheney: "I was told there was going to be a 'hanging'..." --Mutopis 15:11, 28 December 2008 (UTC)

People Around The World Demand Release Of Iraqi Shoe-throwerEdit


  • "Have you seeing this shoe? Last time seeing was at the head of this jag-off" --Mutopis 17:08, 26 December 2008 (UTC)

U.S. Doctors Perform Partial face TransplantEdit


  • DOCTOR #1: "... And once we cut the incision here, we ..."
DOCTOR #2: "But, Doctor, what if her face isn't made of plastic?"--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 06:05, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

Kenyans Fight Over LandEdit


  • The first thing Bush saw on the White House's lawn after Obama's victory the next day --Mutopis 13:57, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Christmas In BaghdadEdit


  • Jesus says "Buy a lot this Christmas or the terrorists win!" --Mutopis 11:40, 22 December 2008 (UTC)

Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds Celebrates 45th AnniversaryEdit


  • Mattel releases new Barbie doll. Hitchcock sues --Mutopis 16:20, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Dam Break Floods Small Tennessee TownEdit


  • "On Sale: House with a lake view, may need some drying." --Mutopis 16:16, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
  • Just when residents had resigned themselves to living in Tennessee, this happens!--Mr SmokesTooMuch 05:32, 25 December 2008 (UTC)

Flights Cancelled For Seattle Area AirportsEdit


  • "They thought they were safe... they thought wrong... coming this Christmas "Revenge of the Killer Luggage" --Mutopis 16:16, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

Five-foot Water Main Breaks In MarylandEdit


  • Bush doesnt care about white people --Mutopis 01:22, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
  • FEMA drops the ball again, it took three days before the drivers were rescued... --Mutopis 01:22, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

The Greatest President Ever Poses With FamilyEdit


  • "Dont worry Pa! There is still a lot of us who can still save the Bush legacy!" --Mutopis 17:07, 26 December 2008 (UTC)

Barack Hussein Obama Visits With Marines In HawaiiEdit


  • Not every soldier was happy with the withdrawal, many troops wanted an extra tour of duty in Hawaii --Mutopis 20:07, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

Alaskan Black Wolf Returns For WinterEdit


  • "Great, Sarah Palin is back... better leave before I get shot..." --Mutopis 24:36, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

Post-Christmas Shopping Down From Last YearEdit


  • Many retail stores responded this way they day after they learned that McCain could be their president.
Or "After McCain gave his speech that the 'fundamentals of our economy are still strong' many retailers responded to his speech the next day." --Mutopis 24:37, 27 December 2008 (UTC)

Penguins Dressed Up As SantaEdit


  • "Now remember, once we infiltrate inside the polar bear's secret cave, if the bear wakes up we will tell him that we are "Santa's little helpers"... got it?" --Mutopis 24:37, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
  • This year Santa decided to outsource his labor force to the penguins, they are paid in tuna fish! --Mutopis 01:20, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
  • Animal abuse 101. --Grazon 18:03, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

Barack Hussein Obama Selects The Lincoln Bible For His InauguralEdit


People Around The World Prepare For The New YearEdit


  • Gayest display ever for the New Year --Mutopis 16:37, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

The Euro Celebrates 10 Year AnniversaryEdit


  • "Ten Years of undervalued currency for this???" --Mutopis 16:37, 29 December 2008 (UTC)

Illinois Governor Selects Replacement For Obama's Senate SeatEdit


  • "You think I am crazy?! Cazy?! I will show you Crazy!!! There, I just appointed a black man as a senator!! I double dare you to take me down NOW!! If I go down, I am taking you all with me beatches!!!!!! --Mutopis 14:24, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
Burris: "Did I ever tell you that I love you, man?" --Mutopis 15:20, 31 December 2008 (UTC)

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