Barack Hussein Obama's Western Wall Prayer PublishedEdit


  • Dude would you mind not looking at my black wang while I'm taking a piss? --Grazon 20:42, 3 August 2008 (UTC)
  • May the urine not splatter my shoes nor I be infected with JEW from touching this wall.--Pro-Lick 20:53, 3 August 2008 (UTC) (as partially inspired by Grazon's prayer)
  • Excuse me while I whip this out...--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 20:58, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

The Greatest Secretary Of State Ever Attends ASEAN Regional ForumEdit


  • Which one is not like the others?--Mr SmokesTooMuch 22:15, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
  • "Number 3... that's the one who robbed the liquor store." --OHeL 00:44, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
  • Number 3. Thats the one who committed the war crimes

Helicopter Reportedly Carrying Radovan Karadžić Arrives At Prison Outside The HagueEdit


Photographer Detained At Site Of Oil SpillEdit


  • OK Guys! I think we've found the White House Leak!

5.4 Earthquake Hits Los AngelesEdit


  • This map shows the epicenter, denoted by this large woman in purple. --Dirpants 06:15, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

Sound of Music Family Home Turned Into HotelEdit

In the foreground seated and playing the guitar is Maria, one of the surviving children, who is visiting for the first time in almost 70 years.


Maria was seen strumming her guitar loudly in a vain attempt to drown out taunts of "Flibbertijibbet!", "Will-o'-the wisp!", and "Clown!"

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens IndictedEdit


  • I'm going to go hide in my series of tubes. --Grazon 05:32, 1 August 2008 (UTC)
  • Anyone for darts? --GeorgeM 02:58, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
  • Hoping to avoid detection, Alaska Ted Stevens attempts to use the secret passageway to hide out in the Bat Cave until the heat is off...--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 03:02, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

The Greatest President Ever Presidentially Steps Off Air Force One...Edit


  • In an amazing display of dedication, every single one of President Bush's remaining supporters were there to greet him. --Dirpants 01:31, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

...To Attend Annual Meeting Of West Virginia Coal GroupEdit


  • "I once met a miner with a lung tumor THIS big!" --Dirpants 01:20, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Urban League President Gets To Meet The Greatest Maverick Ever!Edit


  • "...Out to here! I mean, they were huge!..." --GeorgeM 03:04, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
  • Look at me I've got a Black Friend! --Grazon 01:14, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
  • MR. URBAN LEAGUE GUY: Give it up for John McCain everybody! His microphone isn't upside-down!
MCCAIN: Hurray, do I get pancakes!?--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 02:04, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

--GeorgeM 03:04, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

Hecklers Interrupt Barack Hussein Obama Town MeetingEdit


  • Riley sit yo ass down! You a sell out Huey! --Grazon 01:16, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Solar Eclipse Seen In Northern HemisphereEdit


Airbus Lands At JFK AirportEdit


  • Also see "Airbus Takes Off From JFK Airport", page A2. --GeorgeM 03:06, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

Anthrax Suspect Commits SuicideEdit


  • Maryland: After Christ, Before Fellini. --Randroid 05:19, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

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