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The Greatest President Ever Holds A Fundraiser For His Good Friend John McCainEdit
"Look! It's the American people! They're actually considering electing us for four more years!" --OHeL 10:23, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
- Is that where you put the missing memos?
- "Oh crap George, they're aiming a camera at us. Do my reputation a favor and run and hide!" --Careax 06:35, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- "See that guy there? The day I'm elected I'm going to have him killed!"--Mr SmokesTooMuch 21:15, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
- "Oh, crap, George, it's OBAMA! ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!" --"All god's creatures have a soul. Except bears. Bears are godless killing machines." -His Most Revered Majesty, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA, TFG (Total Freakin' Genius) 13:40, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
South Koreans Protest U.S. Beef ImportsEdit
- And you thought the Boston police freaked out over the Aqua Teen Hunger Force... - The Lake Effect 03:52, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
- Ha ha, the joke's on you Korea! Everyone knows Maccy D's hasn't used real beef in over a decade. So have a cardboard pulp and soy burger on us chumps! --Careax 06:33, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
Uncontacted Tribe Photographed in Brazilian RainforestEdit
- How is it that a tribe in the Amazon.com doesn't have any books or CDs? - The Lake Effect 04:58, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
- Here we see a tribe with a bow an arrow pointed at us the universal symbol for fuck off. --Grazon 00:15, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
- They might be uncontacted, but even they know that Stephen Colbert is awesome! --Careax 01:45, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
- They're armed and hide from the authorities. Sounds like terrorists to me! Better send in the heat just as a precaution. --Careax 01:45, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
Marines In Fallujah Hand Out Coins Engraved With Christian SayingsEdit
Obverse: "Mission Accomplished."
Reverse: "Token good for one hour of hydro electric power. Redeem at Abdul Hamid's Market (located 1 block east of the Al-Queda Terrorist Training Park)." --OHeL 01:49, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
And who said that a Chuck E. Cheese wouldn't fly in Iraq? - The Lake Effect 03:34, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
- Hmmm... I didn't know "I am the walrus" and "all you need is love" were from the Good Book. --Careax 06:29, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
The Second Greatest First Lady Ever Speaks To StudentsEdit
- " I haven't had an artist give me a big O since..." - The Lake Effect 03:54, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
- ...That Roman Orgy in college. --Grazon 04:35, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
- Laura, giving them her "O" face. --Careax 06:21, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- First Lady draws fire for participating in performance art project depicting the Greatest President's IQ expressed in Binary.--Mr SmokesTooMuch 21:31, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
Crane Collapses In New York CityEdit
Jamaican Breaks Men's 100 Meter RecordEdit
- Runners to contest 100 meter levitation win.--Mr SmokesTooMuch 21:19, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
- This is for you, Jesus! YOU'RE MY HERO!
Hillary Clinton Wins Puerto Rico Democrat PrimaryEdit
- "Yay! I might have lost the war, but at least I won this one pointless battle!" --Careax 06:27, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- Hooray after months of sucking up to White trash I get to run for VP. --Grazon 18:00, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
- "Well, it's not so hard after LIVING with the white trash..." - The Lake Effect 08:07, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
Boy Looks At Dinosaur FossilEdit
So this is what a Republican looked like Daddy?
That's right son they started to die out in 2006 and by 2050 they were gone.
- Rarly has a human being been so close to the jaws of a bear and survived. --Sneakers 11:23, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
Massive Fire Burns Hollywood StudioEdit
- Stephen starts to take his revenge on Hollywood.
Indiana Boy Wins Spelling BeeEdit
- Keep dancing nerd.
- And all he had to spell to win it was
George W. Bush, err, I mean numbnut. --Careax 06:25, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- Deet Dee Dee! Mr SmokesTooMuch 21:35, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
- Air Guitar. A-I-R G... - The Lake Effect 22:08, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
The Greatest President Ever At A Medal Of Honor CeremonyEdit
- Unknown to all assembled, the President had smuggled in his Nintendo DS and put it on mute. Shhhh Super Mario - it's a secret! --Careax 06:24, 3 June 2008 (UTC)