7.8 Earthquake Hits ChinaEdit


  • And they want to build how big a dam? --Grazon 17:33, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
  • What happens when you move 10 million Chinese into Tibet. Milkman Bruce 13:37, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

Bob Barr To Run For President As A LibertarianEdit


  • Crazy? What makes you think I'm crazy? I'm running for President as a Libertarian! --Grazon 04:28, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
  • And all this time you thought the Republicans got the raw end of the stick in the Bob Barr/Ron Paul prisoner exchange with the Libertarians! --Careax 02:45, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Hillary Clinton Wins Democrat West Virginia PrimaryEdit


  • "Five lousy Electoral College votes? That's all I get for slumming it for weeks here?!" --Careax 02:40, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Volcano Erupts In ChileEdit


  • Don't worry Chile. God has noticed your name and decided to warm your people up. Just have them stand under the cloud with a spike bolted to your head, and they'll be toasty warm! --Careax 02:43, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • God must really hate you guys, first you get one of the strongest earthquakes ever recorded and that didn't kill you all so now God is going for round two flaming death instead of seismic death.--Thedragonoverlord 13:36, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

One-Man HelicopterEdit


  • Is it just me or is this kinda.......well I can see Larry Craig wanting one of these. --Grazon 01:39, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Woman, Known For Landmark Supreme Court Case, DiesEdit

This is Mildred Loving and her husband, Richard. For more about their story, click the picture.


  • Is you looking at my woman? you keeps looking at her and I'm going hurt you. --Grazon 17:41, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
  • And now they're probably up in heaven, you know... doin' it. And those segregationists that tried to stop them? They have to watch... - The Lake Effect 16:51, 17 May 2008 (UTC)
  • No one noticed this dude was called Dick Loving? C'mon! You'd look pissed off too!--Mr SmokesTooMuch 15:18, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

John Edwards Endorses Barack Hussein Obama For PresidentEdit


Man Flies One-Man Jet Over AlpsEdit


As he takes off he repeats one simple mantra: "I'm Batman." --Randroid 04:56, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

  • Suck on that Always Ultra! --Careax 05:21, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
  • What's the last thing to go through a guy with jet wings on his back's mind when he hits your windshield?--Mr SmokesTooMuch 14:56, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
  • People on the ground claimed to have witnessed Buzz Lightyear.
  • The first Jet-Sparrow hybrid escapes cloning clinic. Milkman Bruce 13:28, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

The Israeli Knesset Gets To Hear The Greatest President Ever Speak In Person!Edit


  • Y'all want to hear my baked ham and cheese recipes? --Grazon 01:32, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
  • We ask ourselves; Is our children shaloming?--Mr SmokesTooMuch 14:58, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Muskogee, Oklahoma Elects 19-year-old MayorEdit


  • "Dude, I am so stoked. I tried this on SimCity Societies, so, how hard can it be?" - The Lake Effect 16:53, 17 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "First order of business: free Playboy mags and acne cream for all the dudes; and free bikinis for the hot chicks! Boo-yah!" --Careax 05:21, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "Okay... now that I'm here, what do I do?"
  • If you're mayor at 19, president at 30, and world leader at 40. --Thedragonoverlord 13:40, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Jacaranda Trees Bloom Along City StreetEdit


  • Purple? Further proof of the trees implementing their eco-homo agenda. - The Lake Effect 16:56, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

Michael Jackson Loan Approved, May Keep Neverland RanchEdit


  • Everybody, grab your crotch and wail in celebration! - The Lake Effect 16:54, 17 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Hey Bubbles: time to put that gimp outfit on again! --Careax 05:24, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Massachusetts Democrat Senator Ted Kennedy Hospitalized After Suffering SeizureEdit


  • "We can get most of him on-board. But his massive skull will have to hang out the back." --Careax 05:25, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Photographer Hit By Javelin At Track MeetEdit


  • "Congratulations Dick - you'll be representing America at the Olympics!" --Careax 05:26, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
  • He had a Javelin in his leg and he took a photo of it? Now that deserves an award, Darwin maybe but an award. Grazon 06:13, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
  • It's only a flesh wound! Have at you!--Mr SmokesTooMuch 13:10, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "That's what I get for being sponsored by Target." - The Lake Effect 02:07, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
  • "Hello, Troy, I want to play a game..."

Speaker Nancy Pelosi Visits IsraelEdit


  • Pelosi and Perez share a moment in the US and Israel's "Special Relationship"--Mr SmokesTooMuch 13:11, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Talk about "bi-lateral relations!" - The Lake Effect 02:11, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Senator Kennedy Diagnosed With Brain TumorEdit


  • No dad, you can't blame the tumor on your head hanging out the helicopter.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 22:15, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Cousin Arnold called and he keeps saying "It's nota tumor!" yeah I know what a jackass. --Grazon 23:54, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

John McCain Discusses Global WarmingEdit


  • And then you kissa the clit every so nicely.....--Grazon 15:46, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
  • In regions of Europe, this is the symbol for "I desire hot anal sex from a dude." Hot. Painful. That, is Global Warming in a nutshell. - The Lake Effect 19:47, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
  • I'll be honest with you: I discussed this global warming issue with my PR aides for days on end... until we found just the right way to frame this issue that'll make me sound good. Bi 18:00, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Joe Lieberman likes it best when I take a ball in each finger and gently spread his ball sac apart before I dive in and give him a scrotal tongue bath--Mr SmokesTooMuch 15:01, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Hillary Clinton Wins Democrat Kentucky PrimaryEdit


  • "Because my southern accent and the fact that Bill and I eat a lot of fried chicken told you that you should vote for us." - The Lake Effect 19:50, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Barack Hussein Obama Wins Democrat Oregon PrimaryEdit


  • The Obama family shortly before entering into woodchipper that had been mislabelled "Exit"--Mr SmokesTooMuch 15:02, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

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