Womb Raiders: The Fight For The Truth Behind The Truth Behind Obama's Birth: Hawaii Lie-O

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Womb Raiders: The Fight For The Truth Behind The Truth Behind Obama's Birth: Hawaii Lie-O
is a "Special Report" of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.

Sir Dr. Colbert's Special Report on the truth behind Barack Obama's birth!

Despite two wars and a crippling recession, Stephen felt it was important to get to the bottom of this most pressing issue.

Submitted July 28, 2009Edit



  • America faces many questions
    • why can't a monkey get a driver's license?
      • even if that monkey can maneuver through Stephen's home obstacle course
  • one thing every American knows for sure:
    • Barack Obama was not born in the United States
      • making him Constitutionally ineligible to serve as President
  • Stephen is a proud member of the Birther Movement
    • which is made up of decent, old-fashioned Americans who only want to overturn a democratic election
  • On July 27, 2009, the Birther Movement made it all the way to the White House
    • via the Press Briefing when Robert Gibbs said there was nothing he could do to get rid of them because,
"... for $15, you can get an Internet address and say whatever you want."[1]
  • Sir Dr. Colbert will finally put to rest the rumors about Obama's birthplace with another Special Report, Womb Raiders: The Fight For The Truth Behind The Truth Behind Obama's Birth: Hawaii Lie-O!

In The NurseryEdit

  • Stephen begins the Report in the Colbert Report Nursery
    • where he reports on all the babies born in America, including Presidential births
    • he even performs brises when needed
    • and protects America from Guam babies (by stamping their foreheads for future identification)
  • Evidence: high volume of Presidential Fraud Claims
    • being yelled At a high volume
  • Evidence: Obama's Birth Certificate

The Stakes Are HighEdit

"Whereas the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961[3]"
  • this would have been a blow to the birther movement had it taken place in the United States instead of the District of Columbia, which obviously isn't a state; it's only a district
  • World Net Daily is offering $10,000 for anyone who witnessed Obama's birth
    • whether it took place in Hawaii
      • or elsewhere
    • finally evidence more reliable than a government document: someone willing to say something for $10,000!
  • Stephen would only be satisfied when he hears from one of the sperm that was there when Obama was conceived
    • there were over 150,000,000 present at the time and not one has yet to come forward
    • if you are one of the 150,000,000 sperm there, Stephen would like to know what you heard:
      • ukulele music or tribal drums
      • how many times did you hear the name "King Kamehameha" or the phrase "Book 'em, Dano!"
  • America cannot allow a Kenyan to lead us, we have to take him down
    • after the break

After The BreakEdit

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