"William Shatner"
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Chick magnet and Imodium spokesperson, William Shatner[1] played Captain James Tinkerbell Kirk on Star Trek for its entire 3-year run.

Acting Career Edit


Bill is great believer in racial harmony, especially when he wants to sleep with a Nubian princess

Although Shatner has enjoyed a varied and colorful career spanning over forty years, he will only be remembered for Star Trek.

Everything Else He's Done That No One Will Remember Edit


Shatner and his first wife, days before announcing their divorce

  • T.J. Hooker
  • Some fuckin' reality show that no one can remember the name of
  • Boston Legal

Recording CareerEdit

Shat facts Edit

  • Has a really awful toupee
  • If he ever picks up a check, consider it a miracle
  • Was loved by his Star Trek co-stars, especially James Doohan (Scotty)
  • Has three daughters from one of his numerous marriages
  • Has make numerous grown men sob uncontrollably with his infamous left hook
  • Has nailed an alien on every planet
  • Can speed up his molecules to appear invisble
  • Can act his way out of a paper bag


  1. Even his own mother doesn't call him "Bill"

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