William McKinley
was the 25th President of the United States of America
Party: Republican   Term of Office: 1897-1901
William mckinley

William McKinley, pictured upon learning that a mountain in Alaska had been named in his honor.

William McKinley was the 25th President of the United States of America. He was not very friendly and did not like to talk; yet, for some reason, he numbers among America's greatest patriots and will always be remembered as "The Gabber." He committed the U.S. to a glorious war against Spain to liberate Cuba (fine way of repaying us, Castro!) and the Philippines (also known as Japan's Mexico), which we won, of course. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Tragically, McKinley was shot in action during the Philippines campaign, during a particularly difficult night at the theater with his friend and future assassin Leon "Wayne" Czolgosz. He was rushed back to Washington D.C., where he expired on the steps of the Capitol wrapped in an American flag. His vice president, Theodore Roosevelt, succeeded him in office.


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