Wilford Brimley was a Wikiality.com Featured Word on 6/5/07.
Wilford is also an avid horse rider. He has won numerous jumping and riding awards including The Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation's prestigious 'Barrel Racers Award of Excellence in General Barrel Racing.' Because of the diabetes, however, Wilford now has trouble dismounting his steed.
|I'm going to get off my horse now, onto a smaller horse. Then onto a large dog, until I'm near enough to the ground to roll off.|
Brimley is popularly known by his other official name, the Quaker Oats Guy, even though he prefers waffles. This is due to the fact that he used to star in the Quaker Oats TV commercials. Please don't confuse that with the Quaker Oats Man, Barbara Bush.
During The Vietnam WarEdit
During one of his late-night calls to Stephen, Mr. Brimley revealed he was in harm's way as a rodeo clown. While a private in Vietnam, Wilford Brimley, nickname, Traffic Scunion, accepted nickels in exchange for a kick in the nuts to earn extra money. Episode #376
Mentorship Of StephenEdit
Stephen first met Wilford on the set of The Firm where Stephen performed the highly coveted job of shaving Brimley's back.
Stephen once had to wire money to him in Mexico in the middle of the night because Wilford bet on the wrong cock - like Stephen, he's a cockthusiast. Wilford Brimley takes a daily post-workout meal of Tums, goats milk, and whale blubber.
On The PhoneEdit
Wilford's tendency to call the taped Colbert household phone between one and three in the morning has been described as at least mildly amusing, but has been called annoying and even inconsiderate by sources who refuse to be named (which leads the logical reader to assume that they were bears). The real reason is that, in Wilford's own words, "that's when I'm available." He's just "trying to keep the friendship alive."
However, that begs one to ask the question: what exactly occupies Wilford's time all through the sunlit hours? The answer lies in most prescription drug commercials. If you've ever heard the phrase "new discovery" pertaining to a drug, you may be inclined to attribute it to "research." In actuality, they just hire Wilford to pry the secret from its ancient immortal guardians, generally a trio of twelve-foot tall bulletproof grizzlies. Of course, his horse-riding and lasso skills make him perfect, especially since they can just pay him in oatmeal. No brown sugar, though. He's got the diabetes.
Redefines Masculinity for the Elderly and The DiabeticalEdit
I once saw a movie where Brimley said he got a boner. To do that at his elevated age, clearly is a sign of manliness and virility.
Wilford Brimley is a big fan of Republican President William Taft, so much so that he even alters his apperance to look more like the famed president.