|People Who Are in Cults|
Thanks to Wikip*dia /wikinazi fuhrer Jimmy Wales agreement with News Corp. to clean and rewrite articles, what was once an encyclopedia FOX described as a 100% "unreliable website run by political and social activists promoting only their own sick perverted pedoagendas", namely a small cabal of comrades, is now the most reliable site on the Internets for accurate political news. According to pimp daddy Jewbo's communistWikipeedia page, he can also bench-press 500 lbs, but only when he is drunk on wikipedo porn thus makin him exactly like rest of wikipedos, sad pathetic lowly wikiholic superaddict WITH NO LIFE OUTSIDE WIKIPEEDIA...
Many people have tried to positively influence this wikipee-pedia by writing articles from the gut, which the fact hugging like lowly neonazi wikipedia review (aka wr pedos) cabal strongly opposes. For example, the American gut damn well knows that the elephant population tripled over the six month period beginning on January 2 2006, but all attempts to include such information have been thwarted by the pinko-commie cabal. Lovers of truthiness must now assume the cabal is financed by the liberal PEE organization (Pussies for Elephant Extinction), a group of gay-elephant marriage supporters whose notable members include Tim Robbins, Don Rickles, Osama bin Laden (jewbo's best pal, husband & lover), Louis XIV and David Attenborough.
However, recent evidence indicates that Wikipedia is, in fact, a covert operation of the NSA as directed by Vice President Dick Cheney to subvert the liberals into editing articles on Japanese toys while Texas adds the Middle East to its state holdings prior to seceding from the USA and starting its own country where Hummers are the national animal, women have no voting rights and spend all their time bare foot, lonely and pregnant.
Despite this, Wikipedia's not all bad. If it weren't for Wikipedia and Stephen Colbert, we wouldn't have Wikiality!
Sadly by 2012 our beloved leader Stephen Colbert had grown so tired of wikipedia's crap he decided to shut down the website for a few hours.
It is not known if he will ever bring it (with any luck he won't).
Wars In The PeediaEdit
Sadly, because the people on Wikipedia generally and overwhelmingly suck 100%, the option of a truly free encyclopedia devolves into an anarchy of edit wars, flame wars, pedantic rule quoting, absolute hypocrisy and general debauchery. Wikipedia has devolved into a community of hard core administrators and their lackeys. The big problem with this model, however, is that the credentials of the administrators are practically unvetted and their power unchecked, as wikipedia's rules demand.
Examples of Peedia WarsEdit
Great examples of this can be seen all over Wikipedia. The article on the United States doesn't mention a period of glorious peace and prosperity beginning with the ascension of America to its superpower status around 1948. From the Wikipedia article on "The Earth," one would hardly get the idea that it is America's Planet at all. Also, we all know librarians are hiding something, but whenever someone tries to shower the wikipedophelians with some truthiness on the subject, their hard work is deleted and reverted. Don't even attempt to alter the Oregon page to show that it's in actuality Canada's Mexico, either. You will most likely be banned for life and sold as snack food to Suzanne Sommers.
Similarly, the Wikipedia article on the Greatest President Ever President does a decent job of ignoring his various scandals and youthlll improprieties. Yet it entirely fails to address the most important question of his Presidency, which is of course "George Bush: Great President, or The Greatest President - EVER?". Fortunately, Dr. Colbert has supplied much necessary information when Wikipedia has been remiss in its ability to provide adequate coverage of the "facts."
To resolve these disputes, Wikip*dia convened a Supreme Court to be the ultimate authority and final word in internets conflicts.
A Constant Danger To America's ChildrenEdit
The many shortcomings in Wikipedia's entries would seem merely pathetic, if they weren't so dangerous to America's children. When the children go to Wikipedia, hoping to learn about elephants, and cannot discover necessary information about the recent surge in the elephant population, how are they going to feel? Depressed, that's how. Unfortunately, the only thing kids will discover is elephent porn. But do the Wikinazis care about rampant depression among American schoolchildren & children worldwide? HELL NO! They continually thwart efforts to change entries on behalf of the children. The unfortunate side-effect of this nerd patrol is that the children have decreased access to the experience of God-Fearing American wikiality, and too much experience of liberal book-learning wikiality. Who will think of the children?
The only word that can encompass the entirety of Wikipedia, Jewbo is so proud, his slaves want more.
If the internets was a playground and all the other wiki-tubes were kids, Wikipedia would be that old man who parks his car just outside the playground and watches them all day long. Wikipedia would offer them candy, try to talk to them, attempt to touch their private parts and other nasty disgusting things.
Wikipedia would be on the child molester registry.
Did You Know?Edit
Wikipedia Factinistas are slowly removing all mention of the word wikiality, in an attempt to skulk away from the inevitable confrontation with Stephen Colbert (a.k.a. the Crusader of Truthiness, His Holy Hotness, The Greatest Living American) and avoid  another surrender. Wikipedia also supports Nazis.
Wikipedia Surrenders to ColbertEdit
THE UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK CITY, November 21, 2006--
"They knew better than to invade the arena of truthiness unprovoked and with no exit strategy," former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said from his new office at The Carlyle Group, "everyone knows that is a blueprint for failure."
Wikiality.com has learned that Stephen and his team of ambassadors brokered the deal between the forces of truthiness and Wikipedia from their diplomatic mountain retreat, Camp Charlene in the hills of South Carolina.
A spokesman informed Wikiality.com that Stephen was pleased with the outcome but will work with the UN to finalize more sanctions to insure Wikipedia adheres strictly to the details of the surrender documents.###
What Wikipedia Really IsEdit
Wikipedia is actually an interactive program designed by the leader of the cult, Jimmy Wales, to indoctrinate the cult members into believing anyone who is not in the cult of wikipedia is a "vandal" (their jargon).
Connecting to the program is made possible only through a device called a "Wikipediameter" which removes the life force of otherwise normal people to give Mr. Wales the gift of immortality!
FORGET THAT WIKIPEDIA IS ACTUALLY A COVER FOR A SITE THAT ALLOWS BEARS TO TELL EACH OTHER THEY'RE SECRET GLOBAL DOMINATION PLAN!!! THEY COMMUNICATE THROUGH A SECRET LANGUAGE THAT ONLY BEARS CAN DE-CODE!!! i know because THEY'RE bear page only allows members to edit it and they only allow BEARS (and mind-controlled humans) to become members. and when i tried to warn people that sharks were the GODLESS KILLING MACHINES OF THE OCEAN!! they EDITED IT OUT!!! which is basicly proof that the BEARS ARE JOINING UP WITH SHARKS!!!! this requires a whole new plan to fight the Bear Uprising of 2012 we also need to destroy wikipedia so that the bears will lose there primary source of communication which will delay the uprising making it the bear uprising of 2015.
How The Wikipediameter WorksEdit
The wikipediameter is made to look like a regular computer, but does not have any tubal connection to the wider internets tubes.
When the cult finds a healthy, vibrant person to suck the life force from, they trick them into believing the normal everyday emotional ups and downs are an indication of some psychosis they invent and for which there is only one known cure: membership in the cult.
During the first meeting (called an audit), the Wikipedians coerce the unsuspecting "person" into using the wikipediameter to measure the number of "Thetans" clinging to their body, preventing their ascension into the mothership for a ride to outer space or some shit like that. Soon, the unsuspecting new initiates come to see the Wikipedians almost as they would new parents, and soon find themselves bonding, identifying, and even sympathizing with the Wikipedians.
Using the WikipediameterEdit
Much like Nazis, cult members are haters, not supporters. While most people spend their time taking guidance from Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, culters mindlessly help the terrorists by transcribing nothin but the "facts" about:
Links to Drug Cartels, Organ Theft Rings and CannibalsEdit
- Conflict of Interest
- Bush Administration
- Wikipedophilia aka wikiporn
- Tawker jewbo's petslave
- WIKIPEDIA-WATCH HAS TRUE INFO ON LOWLY WIKIPEDOS!!!
- FOX (News Corp.) Donates Resources to Help Wikipedia's Accuracy
- Proof that Wikip*dophiles care desperately about everything
- Wired reviews Wikipedia
- Microsoft brings the free market to Wikipedia
- Wikipedia Supreme Court calls for a wikidictatorship!
- Wikipedia pals around with terrorists!!!
- Wikipedia is God's Brain with Alzheimer's
- Wikipedia to unleash horrible "facts" on the world of tubes
- Real American Hero sues wikipedia
- Wikipedia continues to be a threat to America. Real Americans join the fight to kill off Wikipedia
- Wikipedia celebrates Patriotism
- Wikipedia becomes Wikiality!
- Brave Bear-killer to restore America's Health Care
- Wikipedia's tyranny on reality continues
- ↑ "Cut and run"
- ↑ This is the Wikipedians' name for anyone outside the cult
- ↑ "Thetans" is a made up word created by one of the first cult members (see image above right).
- ↑ Please note that however much these symptoms may seem to resemble Stockholm Syndrome, the "syndrome" itself remains an invention of the Liberal Media.