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is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
Al Franken
Wikinazi/Tawker has earned

Tawker is a 12 year-old member of the Wikipedia cult trapped in their Vancouver, British Columbia Canada headquarters!!!

Tawker started out his online life like every good Internets-American does: posting videos on The YouTube and pwning morans in cyberspace. He would have continued this valiant fight against the bepimpled masses if he hadn't been sucked into the Wikipedia cult[1]

Tawker's Life Inside the CultEdit


Matt Lauer being called a "glib vandal" by a member of the Wikipedia cult

As with all cults, Wikipedia isolates their members from their friends and family members who are not a part of the cult. They do this by tricking them into "editing" a fictional internets tube they call "Wikipedia".

This "Wikipedia" is used to educate members in the cult to a certain way of thinking. When one is sufficiently indoctrinated, members can then become an "administrator", which is what a "high priest" of the cult is called. Even after reaching that level, members are still tested by Wales.

After becoming a High Priest of the Wikipedia Cult, Tawker's allegience was tested by Wales who was using the pseudonym "Stephen Colbert".

Using this guise, Wales posted that the population of elephants had tripled. Tawker checked this against a book and immediately reverted the edit. But this was only the beginning of the test.

Someone higher up in the cult asked Tawker if reverting an edit was enough. Tawker had to decided if more would be necessary, "Shouldn't that vandal be blocked?"

Once Tawker blocked the so-called "vandal" Wikipedia knew it had captured another person for their cult!

What Can Be Done For Someone Trapped In The Cult?Edit

Bear at computer

This is a photo showing a wikipedian[2] shackled to a wikipediameter.

If someone you know and/or love is swallowed up into the cult, have no fear. All is not lost.

Fortunately, there is no such tube as Wikipedia, but there is a way to correct their cult ramblings. Truthiness has been shown to save the soul of a wikipedian from the scourge of facts and research. If a wikipedian is exposed to an internets-ready computer they can receive a life-saving supply of truthiness.

No one knows what has happened to Tawker; communications from him have ended. But has it on good authority from truthiness spies across the internets that young Tawker is still hanging onto the slim hope that someone will find him and bring him out of the darkness of the Wikipedia cult and into the light of truthiness!

For More Information About The Cult of WikipediaEdit


  1. Or Or, in his words, the cabal.
  2. Possibly Tawker?? We hope you're still out there, little buddy!

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