This page describes all the wonderful things that happen at the Home Office.

Colbert eagle sequence
MelPatriot Home Office
is a red-blooded American Hero!
ArnoldSchwarzenegger2 Home Office
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America Home Office

Business Directory
Office Hours
Mon-Fri 9am-5pm
Closed Holidays
Floor #1
Floor #2




Beyond the maze of cubicles for various middle managment, we have four private offices and one private office complex. One is the private office of Stephen Colbert, naturally he gets the best view of [insert natural feature of your choice here]. Then, there's the office complex of the Colbert Loyalists, should they visit from their numerous headquarters in Washington DC, New York, St Louis, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Bogota.

Library Edit

Well, it's not a library so much as a rental store. Since we're not liberal wussy library-card carrying card-carriers, we charge 10 Colbucks a week to loan out the items. The items include 1,000+ copies of the Gospel According to Stephen, and the First Letter of the Heathen Jew to the Prophet Stephen, tapes of every Colbert Report episode (some of which include the Toss with whoever the hell hosts Stephen's Lead-In Jew Program), and the chronicles of the Colbert Loyalists in graphic novel format.



John Fetterman, mayor of Braddock poses inside's warehouse.

Weekly tours of the main floor are available to the general public. Attendees are advised to "wear something they don't like" as the tour visits the Truthiness Monkeys, who are more than likely to fling poo. Tours of the Colbert Loyalists are available by special appointment only, as much of their work is classified.

Portraits In The Hero's Hall Of FameEdit

Charities we're currently supportingEdit



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