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Whistleblowers help the terrorists, and should all be sent to GITMO before the ACLU finds out about them. If you see one, shoot it in the face with your truthiness cannon. Whistleblowers also hate the free enterprise system, which means they hate America. Whistleblowers do not deserve attention, ignore any reference to whistles or blowing.
Official List of Whistleblowers to IgnoreEdit
Wikiality.com's researches in coordination with factiness providers the Heritage Foundation and Cato Institute have brought to you, through the generous donations of Koch Industries, this Compendium: NOTE: The following people have nothing important to say. Also, they just want to steal your candy and depress you.
|People Who Have Blown||Whistles Blown||Why You Should Ignore Them|
|Michael McCray, former USDA Administrator||claimed $40 million in USDA was misdirected by his boss||Who Cares?|
|Fired U.S. Attorneys||pouted about getting fired, pretended these were "politically motivated"|| Cost |
|Bunnatine Greenhouse||holds a personal grudge against Dick Cheney||is the cause of at least one of his heart attacks|
|Coleen Rowley||accused The Greatest President Ever's Greatest Attorney General (Ever) of damaging the FBI||she was the one who damaged the FBI!|
|Jeffrey Wigand||claimed smoking is bad for you!?||Wigand became a high school teacher, but Brown and Williamson became a subsidiary of Reynolds American.|
|Jack Spadaro||says Clean Coal is dirty||Environmental disasters are hoaxes staged by the liberal media; besides, it's Kentucky.|
|Sgt. Joseph Darby||said some of our troops liked taking pictures of dogs||it's none of our business what our troops do! Plus, who doesn't like dogs!?|
|Mark Felt||blew the whistle on "Deep Throat"||no one remembers what happened at Watergate any more!|
|Thomas Tamm||opened his big, fucking mouth to The New York Times||you'd keep your mouth shut Tamm, if you know what's good for ya|
|Wendell Potter||has a gay name and hates the free market health care system and is a tattle-tale||His agenda will fail because people will choose the free market over health any day!|
Progress Against Domestic BlowersEdit
The One and Only, single, solitary bright spot for Americans and their corporations against the terrorism that is whistleblowing:
- In 2011, a non-activist judge ruled that companies can fire whistleblowing hippies in their employ if those American-hating freaks talk to the librul-run media. Take that Katie Couric!