When Animals Attack Our Morals

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When Animals Attack Our Morals
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


June 5, 2007 AttackEdit


Carlos and Fernando


Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust Slimbridge, England


Carlos and Fernando

Have corrupted 15 chicks

biggest boon to the homo-avian agenda since Flock of Seagulls

See also: flamingos

August 1, 2007 AttackEdit


March 19, 2009 AttackEdit


  • chimpanzees
    • Santino collects rocks for visitors
    • Stephen understands the urge to throw rocks at Swedes, he's seen Mama Mia
      • Chimps drunk dial old researchers
      • they can plan
      • Stephen's theory that chimps were behind the assassination of JFK
  • Lizards
    • they're godless and he doesn't buy his insurance from them
    • young lizard males will pose as females to avoid confrontations with older males
      • Lizard Drag queens
    • fooled by tranny lizards before
  • spider
    • man who had been in a wheelchair bitten by a brown recluse and after therapy was able to walk again
    • impersonating Jesus (did not ascend to Heaven on a silky thread coming out of his butt)

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