West Side Story
makes The Baby Jesus sad.
Does your mother know you read these filthy liberal myths?


"snap, snap, snapidy snap snap"- West Side Story


West Side Story is a musical theater production. It is often said that it is based on William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, which is a bunch of crap. Two people from rival factions fall in love? Shakespeare didn't invent that, a plotline like that has been around since the dawn of time, which was exactly 6000 years ago, naturally.

The plot of West Side Story deals with two rival gangs, the New York Jets and the San Jose Sharks. One of the Jets falls in love with the sister (Maria Sharapova) of the Sharks' team captain. The Jets are all whisky drinking Irishmen and the Sharks are all Mexicans, or something.

These gangs, however, do not fight all badass and shit like real men (see: Chuck Noblet). Instead, they dance around on stage and sing at one another like a bunch of fairy homos. This is, in fact, a commie liberal plot to try to get actual street gangs to confront each other in a less violent manner, akin to gun control or one of their other cockamamie plans that doesn't work.

Importance to Real AmericansEdit

However, this is an important piece of musical theater to the Colbert Nation because of the song "America," which gives great exemplars of why America is such a great place to live.

The song I Feel Pretty also comes from this production, and since it is on George W. Bush's iPod, it must be a quality song.

If West Side Story Were Cast TodayEdit

Soledad O'Brien would definitely get a part.

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