Weigh In is based on a true story.


Legal or illegal: Waterboarding? Edit


The Greatest President Ever's Latest Greatest Attorney General Ever is being forced to answer such a difficult question regarding the legality of a complex legal question surrounding a nuanced interrogation technique called waterboarding.

Mr. Mukasey has rightfully refrained from arming the terrorists with information which would embolden our enemies while weakening our troops' resolve. But the liberal response is typical: they have called for a linguistic benchmark for a definition, not only of what qualifies as waterboarding, but what qualifies as torture.

Our debate begins with's own mariner, Geraldo Rivera...

GeraldoSQ Gerald Miguel Riviera
"If it was up to me, whatever we do to help Americans should retroactively be legal, no matter what anyone says. Plus, I think I would like to test it out first. Don't I look good with my shirt off?"

6a8bfbf5fec281 Rosie O'Donnell
"No one cares if you take your shirt off, you furry-faced has-been! We're talking about the Constitution and how Americans are seen around the world based on your President's torture-everyone-policy!
As for my opinion, torture is bad and should be reserved for men only and only women should be the ones to decide when it should be used!"

Oreilly alt Bill O.
"Don't listen to the cow, Geraldo. She's just mad because no man would ever marry her. She's unsatisfied with her lifestyle choice and now wants to torture everyone with her liberal fatness!"

6a8bfbf5fec281 Rosie O'Donnell
"Oh, now here we go!
I'm fat, so your failure of a president can torture people!
Nice comment, you idiot!"

RussLieberMicCropped Russ Lieber
Radio Personality
"Hold on people, we have to slow down, drink some herbal tea and get the debate back on track..."

Alex Jones Alex Jones
Oxygen Thief

Sanchez Taser Rick Sanchez
news personality
"I suppose this means I'll have to dig out my traditional torture seadoo suit. Hasn't gotten much use since the seven startled stingrays piece."

PorchToiletCropped Bill Bonds
Maverick Plumber
"Come on, folks. Torture is a personal lifestyle choice. I sure won't want to torture another person, but why should I stop anyone else from torturing anyone else?"

Global warming: Fact or myth?Edit


The topic of global warming has received a great deal of attention in the recent years. In 2007, the so-called "Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change", or "IPCC", published a report claiming that global warming is very real, very serious, and very man-made, and that this conclusion is based on the best available work from a `majority consensus' of scientists. However, another group of scientists have challenged this consensus by saying that the very fact that this consensus exists shows that it is not a consensus, and the truth is that All The Science Is Not In.

So, is global warming a fact, or a myth? To kick start the debate, let us begin with Mrs. William Penn:

Quaker-Oats-Babs-small William Penn
elder stateswoman
"Well, as you all know, we at Quaker Oats pride ourselves on our honesty, integrity, and purity. When it comes to global warming, we find unfortunately that this subject of pure science has become sullied by the very prospect of political action. I'm fine with people doing pure science just for its own sake, but when people want to use the results of science for some sort of `social action', then I as a defender of purity must necessarily object to it."

MMoore Michael Moore
"Oh, come off it. You're just a fictional character on an oatmeal can. And even in your fictional world, you're dead already. What can you know about global warming? Look, I'm real, and I'm alive. And I say: vote for Osama, I mean Obama Hussein!"

Morans2 Keith Clydesdale
"ur a traiter why not just shut up an go back to cuba u lard-ass fatso librul lololol"

PorchToiletCropped Bill Bonds
Maverick Plumber
"I was a high-flying scientist until the Academic Inquisition persecuted me for disputing global warming. True story."

LauraBushCropped Laura Bush
"Good gracious, what a mess! On one side we have the denialists saying that there's no global warming, and on the other we have the alarmists who keep yelling that the sky is falling, and both sides just keep hurling talking points at one another. Oh, my beautiful mind! Why won't you all just get along? Why can't you try to find a middle way? Come on, it's obvious that the best thing to do is to act as if there's no global warming. No, I'm not denying anything — except the so-called `consensus' that there is global warming."

BEARsqu Bear
"No! You got it all wrong! We're not polar bears! We're brown bears! And we have nothing to do with this Carbon Credits for a New World Order thing! It was all Al Gore's idea!"

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