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WEDNESDAY

Wednesday

A day of the week (pronounced: WENZ-day), normally depicted as the fourth day, when weeks begin on Sunday, using the Gregorian calendar, not the Jew calendar, which says that God rested on Saturday, which isn't true because God partied on Saturday.

Why Wednesday is SpecialEdit

Besides being a test of a child's ability to spell, Wednesday is the day of the week dedicated to reaffirming one's opinion, which was created on Monday. The Greeks called this day "Wed-less-day" because they were all gay and they couldn't marry. America fixed the pronunciation and spelling, but kept the No-Gay-Marrying policy.

This was revealed by Stephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner. My gut tells me that day landed on a Wednesday.

What God did on WednesdayEdit

God created the sun, the moon and the stars, like a celestial breakfast cereal. Except less crunchy.

What Children Who Are Born on Wednesday Are LikeEdit

They are full of woe. That makes more sense than "face". It's sad, though. But they have a keen nose for terrorism and are often used in the army as such.

Also calledEdit

  • The day after Tuesday.
  • Humpday (which isn't as cool as it sounds)
  • Thursday's Yesterday.

Famous People Born on WednesdayEdit

Joe Lieberman
Frank Luntz
Alan Colmes

See AlsoEdit

Monday
Tuesday

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