We the MEdiator
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


We The MEdiator is a segment of The Colbert Report in which Stephen courageously takes a side in celebrity feuds, unlike that pussy Bob Schieffer. It premiered on the January 9, 2007 edition of The Report.

When Stephen makes judgements in this segment, they are final and they are binding. Unless he reverses them, in which case, they are doubly so.

Sides TakenEdit

Flapdoodle between Rosie O'Donnell and The DonaldEdit

Because Rosie can't have an extramarital affair until she's legally allowed to have an intramarital affair, she can't pass judgement on The Donald's marriages.

WINNER: Donald Trump, for taking the high road.


The blow-dried chinchilla Trump went after Condoleeza Rice. You don't cross Condi, or you end up on The Apprentice: Gitmo.


Angelina vs Madonna Adoption ControversyEdit

Angelina Jolie is splitting genocidally ravaged hairs: if your baby accessory is from Cambodia or Malawi, what's the difference?

WINNER: The Material Girl - it's no contest.

The King of Bollywood vs. The Prince of BollywoodEdit

The fued that everyone in the Nation (of India) is talking about, between Amitabh Bachchan (The King) and Shah Rukh Khan (The Prince).

WINNER: The Prince. I mean, if you're going to say you're the King, at least have the dance moves to back it up.


After careful review of 2001's Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, Amitabh Bachchan's move-busting proved stronger than any upset Shah Rukh Khan's might have felt at his New Year's Party snub.

WINNER: The King! Amitabh Bachchan

Negroes At Iwo JimaEdit


    • Spike criticized Eastwood's depictions of Iwo Jima in his two movies
    • Nubian is the correct term, not negro
  • Clint wins

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