The War of Georges is a theoretical war posited by nerds to have no beginning and no end. It involves a war of attrition between the Axis of Bad Georges - who want to conquer the universe and rename everyone George, and the Alliance of Good Georges - who are fighting to protect non-George names.
Experts say the war started on the negative-first day and will end on day infinity-plus-one. But there's a problem with that argument: its parameters are outside infinity. Nixo-facto it never have started and will never end, and therefore it isn't real.
Want more proof? Stephen would never tolerate having his name changed to George. Any risk of that would cause him to join the Good Georges, which would lead to an immediate defeat for the Axis of Bad Georges.
So what are the bad Georges up to?Edit
- Helping terrorists to kill all westerners not named George.
- Promoting global warming so they can drive all non-Georges away to Mars or the Moon.
- Fornicating with bears.
A new $cientology bible is expected soon, called Battlefield George and loosely based on the War of Georges. It will tell the story of a galactic war between the evil George Xenu and the totally straight, woman-loving Mesiah hero George Cruise. Marvel as George Cruise vanquishes his enemy and rescues everyone from deadly nucular-powered georgecanos.
But rest assured that no matter how cool he sounds, George Cruise would still get his ass kicked by Tek Jansen!