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War: What It's Good For
is a "Special Report" of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.


Quote open clear3 War is hell. Quote close clear2
~General William Tecumseh Sherman, big pussy

War: What It's Good For was a Colbert Report Special Report which aired on August 3rd, 2006.


Our Current Military: Why Won't Anyone Join?Edit

America began with a war so Stephen was puzzled at the military's inability to meet its troop recruitment goals for our current war with Iraq. The military even raised the minimum age for service to 41 and lowered the physical fitness requirements, enabling millions of baby boomers to try out an adventurous new career.

War: Good For PeaceEdit

Stephen noted that the Peace Corps accepted the largest number of volunteers in 30 years thanks to our War on Terror. This is great because it first identifies and then ship our Hate America Firsters overseas.

War: Good For NewsEdit

Something has to fill the 24-hour news cycle, and explosions make great background footage for Brit Hume.

Debate With Russ Lieber About Mel Gibson, Jews and IsraelEdit

Russ sat in Joe Lieberman's chair at the C Desk (which Stephen had left out for the Senator, not for Lieber) to talk about Mel Gibson's comments on Jews. Lieber spoke for all the Jews in the world, but the discussion was sidetracked by Lieber's Hitler Moustache or shickelgrüber. Lieber grew the Hitler moustache as a show of his support for Mel Gibson's right to say shameful, hateful things. Stephen pointed out that none of the Jews in Gibson's The Passion of the Christ had horns, showing admirable restraint on the part of Gibson.

Wars Jews Have Started
(According to Russ Lieber)
  • The Rape of Nanking

Meet An AllyEdit

Stephen introduced one of the United States' partners in the Coalition of the Willing, Palau in the first part of a 49 28 indeterminate number of parts series, Meet An Ally.

The Nailing: Paul HackettEdit

Stephen sat down with Paul Hackett, an anti-war veteran of the Iraq War.

The Stephen Colbert World War III Eternal Flame[1]Edit

Stephen dedicated his fireplace in The Eagle's Nest as an eternal flame, to burn eternally in honor of World War III, which will last eternally.

Stephen Colbert: WarriorEdit

  • Stephen has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the first half of Saving Private Ryan


  1. The Stephen Colbert World War III Eternal Flame is a registered trademark of Stephen Colbert and The Colbert Report. Any unauthorized use of the phrase World War III Eternal Flame without the expressed, written consent of this program is strictly prohibited.

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