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Wall Protecting America's Borders™

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*sigh* If only our wall could be as efficient as this one. Then maybe even liberals would recognize the brilliance of The Greatest President Ever.

It's the wall that protects American citizens from the invading hordes of Mexican day laborers whom wish to steal the coveted professions of gardeners, plumbers, construction workers, fruit pickers, and nannies from semi-hardworking American citizens.

Another Brick in the WallEdit

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Before George W. Bush became President, it was easy for terrorists to get into America. He proposed to build a great wall, "Bigger than if the Great Wall of China was mounting the Berlin Wall like the whore it is." After speaking with Stephen Colbert, his most trusted advisor, George W. Bush and Stephen both agreed to pay eight billion dollars out of their own pockets to construct the greatest wall in the history of walls. They agreed to build it together with their bare hands, out of stone, sweat, and balls.





Protecting America's BordersEdit

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The wall was designed to maintain the influx of illegal-immigrants from Mexico, and to make it harder for hippies and liberals to run away from the FBI. The Wall has worked perfectly, and since its construction there has been no documented cases of an illegal-immigrant entering the country of America, except for Alberto Gonzalez, but it turns out that he was a pretty good guy, with huge, Mexican balls, or juevos.

Many uneducated and drug-addicted people believe that the Wall Protecting America's Borders is a metaphor used to demonstrate the ideals of Americans regarding immigration. Those people are liberals and have never actually seen the Wall, nor felt it with their bare hands, like Stephen Colbert did when he was inspecting it for flaws. He found one. It was not high enough.

Tear Down this Wall?!?Edit

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Believe it or not, some idiots think that building a wall that protects America's Borders is a stupid idea, and say stupid things like "well, someone will still be able to climb over it, or jump through it, or run around it..." You should report these people to the FBI. These people hate freedom, and would like to see a world with no borders, which means there would be no walls to protect them from invading hordes of unemployed foreigners.

The Minutemen: Heroes of AmericaEdit

The Minutemen have decided that they are fed up with the trillions upon trillions of invasive Mexicans that walk into America every day, and the only punishment they get is cleaning the east wing of Stephen Colbert's summer mansion in Palm Springs.

These heroes of American-Freedom have already built eleven miles of wall in eleven months. What have you done? Hey America, do you feel any safer? No? Well you should, because the Minutemen just gave you eleven more miles of liberty, and an 11% less chance that you will be out of work tomorrow. Thanks, Minutemen!

The Minutemen would like you to give them some money, now.


Trivia Edit

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  • Many Mexican workers actually have very good lives in Mexico, but just want to spite Americans by walking 300 miles across the border to work for little pay under often-inadequate working conditions. That's how much they hate America.
  • The Wall stands at 16' tall and is approximately 8' wide. George W. Bush decided to build the wall using those dimensions because that was the score of his last one-on-one badminton game versus Stephen Colbert.
  • The "Famous Mexican Work Ethic" is a myth: Did you know that the average Mexican immigrant spends 1/4 of his or her time filling out paper work?


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