Vivos Bunkers

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The menu says that they serve Sloppy Joes. Which will take on new meaning when the food runs out.
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~ Stephen Colbert

Vivos Bunkers are super bunkers created to protect you from the dangers of Natural or man-made disasters, such as Global Warming, comet impact, earthquakes, vocanoes, tsunamis, solar flares, nucular war, terrorism, mooslim attacks, financial meltdown, social breakdown, or The Bear Uprising of 2012.

The locations of the bunkers are kept secret until the disaster occurs. Including, apparently, from the paying customers (just to keep you safe).

Affordable PricesEdit

You can buy a spot in the Vivos bunker for $50,000 per adult and $25,000 per child. (Pets get in for free with their owners.)


Yes, whenever YOU feel the apocalypse has arrived. Like when it's raining fire, or your cable TV is out. And according to the Vivos website, these babies are built to withstand any civilization-destroying disaster, from nuclear war, to global tsunami, to Nibiru, the mythical Planet X depicted on a 4,500-year-old Sumerian tablet, whose predicted collision with Earth would "destroy most of humanity". Nibiru!!!!!

External TubesEdit


But do you wanna take that chance?

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