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The Virginity Pledge is just one of the many activities available at Stephen Colbert's Fleet Week Clean Time Fun Zone, an alternative to immoral Fleet Week activities our fighting men and women are exposed to while on leave in New York City.
I ________ AM
Take this card with you when riding in cars with the opposite sex or the subject of sex is even remotely brought up. Flash it in the opposing side's face(s) and promptly walk away.