What They Eat Edit
They typically eat the devil's food: tofu or greens. They also consume a lot of beans, which explains all the hot air they produce. They eat humus and falafel which is food of the pretend-God, Allah, and his cult of man-dress wearing boyscouts, the Taliban. If global warming were real (which it is because Al Gore's movie made money), then hippie bean-eating vegetarians would be the main cause. This is supported by the fact that they are hypocrites who murder and butcher the plants their Hippie ancestors spent a lot of time being Un-American (pronounced de-mo-crat) by hugging.
Why They Do What They Do Edit
Some vegetarians don't eat meat because they want to preserve our wildlife. Others attribute their heinous wrong doing to a desire to follow a more "healthy lifestyle." Ultimately their excuses boil down the the following axiom:
- "Why live to 75 and enjoy life when you could spend 78 years choking down humus and tofu?"
- Vegetarians are understandably subjected to constant torment and ridicule. Conversely, all good Christians know better than to ignore the word of God.
- Despite what they say, all vegetarians are gay
- Hitler was a vegetarian
- Even vegetarians find vegans annoying.