Vaxa-Smacks is the first cereal guaranteed to shrink your prostate. Or, if you're a lady, it will grow you one. It is endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., and is made by Prescott Pharmaceuticals
Side effects include anal depression, dry mouth, hairy uvula, and speaking in tongues. Vaxa-Smacks is not for people who have, may have, or have decided not to have children.