Vancouver Canucks

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Vancouver Canucks
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
Stastny Yan
Vancouver Canucks
is Hockey-related
making it un-American

The Vancouver Canucks are a Canadian hockey team who hold the title "HOCKEY TEAM WITH THE MOST PLAYERS WITH A 10 INCH PENIS OR BIGGER" with a total of 21 players... Only Taylor Pyatt and Mason Raymond measure in with penises smaller than that. Pyatt and Raymond are 5 inches and 4 inches respectively. Kyle Wellwood measures in with the longest at 13 and a half inches. This is kind of ironic considering he plays with a very small dick ... ooops I mean stick on the ice.

Orgins Edit

In 1970 the Vancouver Canucks were created when CA and a NUCKS had sex, thus a Canucks was created. The drug using hippies from Vancouver exchanged drugs for a NHL Team. That was how the Vancouver Canucks were born.

Logo's and Jerseys Edit



The first Logo of the Canucks was a Grizzly bear holding a basketball and sending a message of soulless, godless, killing rampages. The second logo was a evil American hating killer whale that also has killing rampages. Recently the team changed their name to the Vancouver VANCOUVERs, and for the 2008 NHL Season they will be changing their logo to a bear eating the American flag.

Game Chants Edit

During games at the arena that the Canucks play in (known as the "We Hate USA Arena") the fans chant "DIE USA DIE". Whenever their hippie communist leader Roberto Luongo makes a save, the fans burn american flags and begin to riot. This phenomenon seems to be catching on at many of the arenas the NHL plays hockey in around the continent, and has resulted in a number of arrests at arenas in the US when the Canucks are in town.

Team HistoryEdit

Current Roster Edit

Saginaw Spirit star Tom Pyatt's older, prettier brother Taylor. Him and some Swedish guys.

They also have god on their team, evil hippie mastermind Roberto Luongo, who is secretly planning to carry the team on his back all the way to the Stingley Cup championship.

They had a black guy on the team but released him due to "blackiness."

In 2009, the communist Canucks kidnapped the Swedish god, Mats Sundin, tore the 'C' from his RBK, (a communist uniform worn by players of hockey), and forced him to serve their evil, bear loving mastermind, Roberto Luongo, in the hopes of finally winning the Stingley Cup. Thus far, Sundin has quietly subverted their communist plot by taking bad penalties, which invariably lead to their opponent winning the game. Their roster also includes a great dane, the only dog in the NHL, who is currently out of the line up with a paw injury.

All-Time RecordsEdit

Championships Edit

3 Clarence Campbell

8 Division

2 Presidents



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