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Vampires are faux-conservatives. They appear as conservatives by day, but they transformed into liberals at night. Vampirism, the condition of being a vampire, is a sexually transmitted disease invented by the forces of darkness and is spread by neck-biting or by having gay-sex. Vampires keep true Republicans from doing there public duty by biting their necks and sucking out their blood. The worst part about this is when the suck out a true Republican, they turn them into faux-conservative vampires like themselves and it is extremely difficult to tell faux-conservatives apart from true conservatives.
Signs of Vampirism Edit
- Claiming to be conservative, but vote for pork barrel projects.
- Claiming to be conservative, but have gay-sex with anonymous individual in airport bathroom.
- Claiming to be conservative, but gay-seduce young pages and interns.
- Claiming to be conservative, but vote against tax cuts.
- Claiming to be conservative, but employ illegal aliens.