Baby Jesus
Uwe Boll
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
Josh purse medium
Uwe Boll
drives on the wrong side of the road, and carries a man purse.
Must be European.
200px-Uwe Boll Dungeon Siege

Uwe Boll: Filmmaker, Boxer, Legal Alien

German film director Uwe Boll is Stephen Colbert's favorite filmmaker, having helmed such classics as House of the Dead, Alone In The Dark, and Bloodrayne. Boll famously challenged his pesky geek critics to fight him in a boxing match, something Stephen Colbert would love to do but wouldn't want to risk that gorgeous mug of his.

There are many reasons that people get into the movie biz. Some are motivated by a need for artistic expression, others thrive on fame and adulation. Boll directs movies because an obscure loophole in the German tax code allows him to use it as a tax shelter for wealthy German investors.[1] Truly he is a man of vision.


  • Bloodrayne: Notable for a sex love scene that violates several laws of physics and biology.
  • House of the Dead: First major motion picture script written by random word generator.
  • Postal: A serious look at the politics of terror... Just kidding, it's another crappy video game adaptation!

Praise For Uwe Edit

Jean-Luc Godard: "Uwe's films are truth at twenty-four frames a second."

Andrew Sarris: "Quite frankly, he's the only real auteur working these days."

Michael Bay: "Brett Ratner used to be my favorite art film director, but the Trilogy Of Shite changed that!"

Gene Shalit: "His films are thrill rides that will leave your jaw dropped and your pants wet!"

Mel Gibson: "Even though his movies are funded by Jews, I like them. I do."

Rev. Jerry Falwell: "Mr. Boll's flms are a part of the homosexual agenda. Having said that, I'd bang that chick in Bloodrayne any day."

President George W. Bush: "I think Uwe did a heckuva job with Alone In The Dark. I have an eckalectic taste in movies."

Don Imus: "He's my favorite nappy-headed ho, I'd watch his stuff any day."

Michael Richards: "I like that there's not a lot of [censored] in Uwe's flicks."

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: "Of all the infidel Jew-funded Holocaust-believing filmmakers, I think he's the best."

North Korean Leader Kim Jong-Il: "His films make me ress ronry."


  1. Really, I'm not kidding. [[1]]

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