Baby Jesus
University of Michigan
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
Dead bear
University of Michigan
is a member of the Bear Hunters of America.
Be Scared, Bears.
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
The University of Michigan was created by God, Jesus, and all those who are superior to the rest.

University of Michigan
Location Ann Arbor, Michigan
Landmark The Big House
Nickname:The mostest superiorest place on earth.
Theme Song: Hail to the Victors
Population: As many as can afford the tuition (Tuition has no state aid)
Colors Navy and Maize
Reason so Superior The University of Michigan is the only place to have fought off bears in Michigan (Bears are too scared to come anywhere near the University of Michigan)
Fun Fact # 1: Ohio State Blows
Fun Fact # 2: Michigan State Blows, along with Notre Dame

Why the University of Michigan is so superiorEdit

Michigan is superior to everyone else because God made it so.

A typical day on the University of Michigan campusEdit

To start the day..people usually have to go searching for bears..this usually doesn't take long..bears are too scared to come anywhere near here.

Next..they begin with rituals, like going to church, to prepare for the ass kicking that they will dish out on Ohio matter what sport it is.

Special GamesEdit

Cold War- An outdoor hockey game held in East Lansing, Michigan, at Spartan Stadium in 2001. The game was between Michigan and the fucktards of Michigan State. Game ended in a fucking 1-1 tie. Thank God that can't happen today. It drew a (then) record crowd of just over 74,000.

Random Game- This game isn't that importaint cuz they didn't have a fancy schmancy name for it. But it was at Camp Randall, Wisconsin, at Badger Stadium. This was another outdoor hockey game too. Michigan Lost 3-2, but Wisconsin cheated by having a football player playing. This is shown when he did the Heisman pose after a goal.

The Big Chill- This is the most recent outdoor hockey game. Held at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The game was played, yet again, between Michigan and the fucktards of Michigan State. It drew a record crowd of 113,411 people. Michigan won handily 5-0. It would've been more but they decided to "take it easy" on those basterds.

List of rivals to the University of MichiganEdit

This is how the University of Michigan ranks their main rivals..IN THIS ORDER...

  1. Ohio State
  2. Notre Dame
  3. Michigan State
  4. Minnesota
  5. Wisconsin
  6. The rest of the BigTen Conference
  7. Ferris State University (Hockey only cuz Ferris sucks so bad that this is their only Division 1 sport.)
  8. The rest of the CCHA (Central Collegiate Hockey Association)

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