Universal Healthcare

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Al Franken
Universal Healthcare has earned
Universal Healthcare
is part of's series on Socialistic, America-hating Ideas!

Universal Healthcare is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

At no time in the history of mankind has there ever been a need, nor a reason to foist such insidious socialism on America's Planet!


As the worlds greatest news station FOX News had diligently discovered, Universal healthcare was originally inspired by the tandem Karl Marx and Satan. The idea came to the two over tea during a nice relaxing weekend in a Vermont bed and breakfast. During one of their usual post-coitus world-domination chats, the two found themselves at odds with one another. While Marx contended that healthcare for all would ultimately lead to overwhelmed doctors and thusly the annihilation of noncontributing members of society, Satan felt that by placing healthcare in the hands of the government, his bureaucratic minions would ultimately be able to decide who would live or die, ultimately giving him dominion over the souls of conservatives.

The polite banter turned to a full on argument until Ho Chi Minh arrived, bringing news of an up-and-comer named Adolphous Hitler. He told a magical story of a man, who out of the goodness of his heart, saved a child from a handicapped life. The couple, nicknamed by People Magazine "Karltan", was captivated by the heartwarming tale of the bright-eyed benevolence of Hitler. They decided that rather than fight, they would combine their ideas and create a government run healthcare plan that would cleanse society's undesirables give care to all.

Places Where It Exists And WhyEdit

America's Patriotic AlternativeEdit

Heroes Who Have Helped America Remain Socialism-freeEdit

The Future Of America's Free Market-based HealthcareEdit

Icons For Graphical ExplanationEdit

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