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Unicorn

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Bigfoot
UFO
Unicorn
is one of the things they don't want you to know about.


DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

When you rub a unicorn's horn, you get magical unicorn mayonnaise.

Unicorns were creatures that lived on earth centuries ago before Noah's Ark. They looked like horses with one horn on their head. The name unicorn comes from "uni", meaning one and "corn", which is a type of food that unicorns eat. Native Americans originally called them Unimaize, until they were domesticated (the natives, not the unicorns, you can't domesticate unicorns, no matter how much you pay). Evolutionists would have you believe the unicorn was a mythical beast, but they are mentioned in the Bible SEVEN TIMES, thus they must be real and not Rhinos as followers of Hippie Jesus would have you think.

Stephen Colbert has a unicorn named Starbeam whom he loves very much.

Unicorns are somewhat related to the savage unicamels. These "unicorns of the desert" are 100% real, which can only mean unicorns are 100% real too. But you already knew that.

Unicorns are also somewhat related to the Uniwhale. These sins against nature are not true unicreatures. Rather, a uniwhale is simply a whale with a unicorn's horn attached to it's head. They are unicorn killers who attatch the horns of their prey o their own skulls in an attempt to attract more prey.They are not usually called "unicorn killers of the sea" but they should be.


BreedsEdit

There have been thus far only two confirmed breeds of Unicorn. They are the familiar Unicorn, & the lesser-known Multicorn. There have also been unsubstantiated reports of a creature called the Uniceros.

Unicorn - Once believed to be mythical due to the spread of lies from Satan's children in Sweden (who have made no attempt to hide the fact that they are one of the largest training camps for bears!), they can be proven real simply by reading the Bible. They have one horn and are the most prolific of the breeds.

Multicorn - Created by the Lord Jesus Christ, these creatures resemble the Unicorn in every way. The only difference is the fact that they have three horns on their head which signifies the Trinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

Uniceros - Discovered by 18th century explorers in southern Africa, it is believed to have blasphemously gone against God's Will and mated with a creature of another species, the rhinoceros. No proof of the creature's existence has been found yet, but if such a creature does exist it is now considered one of Satan's minions and must be destroyed. The explorers that supposedly crossed paths with the abomination described it as a "thick and scaly grey horse with a single horn coming from its head."

StatisticsEdit

DistributionEdit

DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

unicorns were created by The Council of Doom, sold to the world and later recalled. Thus explaining their rarity.

External TubesEdit



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