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Uncle Tom's Cabin

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Liberace
Uncle Tom's Cabin
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Uncle Tom's Cabin to the authorities.
Newspaper
Helen Thomas
Uncle Tom's Cabin
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy


Uncle Tom's Cabin is a book depicting life in the South during the good ol' days before the Civil War. It is famous for its total lack of truthiness regarding slavery; it dared to suggest that slaves were not happy on the plantation — tell that to Aunt Jemima, lady — and so affronted the South's honor that it was forced to declare war. Uncle Tom's Cabin is thus solely responsible for killing millions of people.

Besides being a book and neither written nor edited by Dr. Colbert, the main problems with Uncle Tom's Cabin include:

  • Anti-capitalism: It is clearly against trading macacas on Wall Street and foreign trade with Africa.
  • Pro-union: It actually supports giving "slaves" rights beyond food and shelter, even allowing them to vote.
  • Pro-combatant: The "slaves" would also gain legal rights against those who had given them all the chitlins and watermelon they could eat.

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