Turtles are lizards that are so ashamed of their nakedness, they wear a shell to cover up.
Turtles also spread diseases to children who "handle them". This feels like if it isn't already a sin, soon will be.
One of Dr. Colbert's children, Stephanie, is a turtle.
Some turtles live on land, others live in the sea. Make up your mind, you disease-spreading, neighbor-teasing, over-dressed reptiles! We're at war!