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Turkmenistan is the freakish bastard child of Uzbekistan and Turkey, both of which are men (as shown in the country name of Turkmenistan). All of the kids at school laugh at it for having two daddies. Turkmenistan should set an example why the prohibition of gay marriage between countries is necessary.
On December 20, 2006 President-for-Life Saparmurat Niyazov died unexpectedly, making him Turkmenistan's President-for-Death.
Niyazov, who gave himself the name Turkmenbashi, or the "Head of All Turkmen" was a ruthless dictator lording over a country full of oil. He never attempted to kill The Greatest President's daddy, however, so invasion was uneccessary.