"Tube Socks"
was proudly Made In China™.
Thank you for your patronage.

All that Stephen sleeps in.

Tube socks are the cornerstone of the proud Chinese economy, and a product eagerly snatched up by patriotic (and smelly-footed) Americans everywhere.

Tube Socks And The Economy Edit


$1.99 at Wal-Mart. (Free if you use the five finger discount.)

According to the Fed, the recent economic and property boom were largely thanks to the profits of patriotic companies like Wal-Mart selling tube socks from China.

Nixo facto the current downturn is happening because people have stopped buying tube socks. It has nothing to do with The Greatest President Ever, Iraq, or anything like that!

So do your patriotic duty, and go buy lots of tube socks!

Recently it was revealed that the Chinese can afford Ferraris, which proves that $1.99 for a 12 pack of Chinese-made tube socks is simply too high a price to charge Americans.

Tube Sock Uses Edit

  • Warming the wangs of naked red hot rock musicians
  • Keeping rabid rich Democrats at bay. Warning: this strategy only works when using unwashed tube socks, and may actually attract filthy hippy liberals and bears.
  • Filling with doorknobs to vandalize mailboxes
  • Having fun with your cat (soak it in Chloroform)
  • Wiping up the Mountain Dew/Budweiser spritzer you spilled in the tub
  • Making puppets of liberals
  • Oh, and covering your feet!

See AlsoEdit

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