Truthiness Quotient

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

Truthiness quotient, abbreviated T.Q., is the measurement of a person's acceptance of truthicules. Its unit of measurement is the "gut-pound". A person's aversion to logic, reasoning and facts increases proportionally to increases in a person's gut-pounds, as does their acceptance of truthiness.

How to calculate your Truthiness QuotientEdit

To calculate a user's T.Q., use the following formula:

\frac{Total number of edits + number of Truthy articles created}{number of times caught being facty}=T.Q.

i.e. a user has 5 edits, 2 articles created, and one major fact. His truthiness quotient is 521? I don't know, my fingers don't go that high.

We recommend you have your Jewish accountant solve the equation, then modify it using the following table:

T.Q. Calculator
Measured in Gut-Pounds (G-p)
Questions G-ps for Male G-ps for Female
Are you American? Yes +100
No -1000
Yes +75
No +0
Are your parents American? Yes +100
No -100
Yes +15
No +0
Are you married? Yes +100
No -1000
Yes +75
No +0
How many children do you have? (0) -1000
(1-2) +100
(Over 2) +250
(0) -250
(1-2) +50
(3-6) +100
(6-10) +125
(Over 10) +200
What is your race? White +100
Other 0
White +75
Other +75
Are you now,
or have you ever
listened to Rush?
Am now +1000
Only when I'm driving +250
Who is Rush? -1000
Am now +75
Only when my husband is +0
Only when I'm driving -150
Only when my husband is driving +150
Who is Rush? -3000

Famous People's Truthiness QuotientsEdit

  • Karl Marx has a truthiness quotient of -175.
  • Orson Welles had one of -17.
  • Bill O'Reilly has a truthiness quotient of ∞ with a margin of error of ± 1.

See AlsoEdit

"Truthiness Quotient"
is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

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