Trent Lott

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Trent Lott
is a Beautiful Republican
God Bless America
Despite what you may have heard
Trent Lott
Is totally not racist!
Trent Lott agrees with Rush,
Muslims are not American!
Despite what you may have heard
Trent Lott
Is totally not gay!
Trent Lott

Yes, this really is my hair. But I borrowed the halo from Jesus.

Trent Lott is a former Senator from Mississippi who pointed out in 2002 that the world would be a better place today if segregationist Strom Thurmond had been elected president in 1948.

He said that because he, like Stephen Colbert, cannot see color. Lott proved that by saying that all the people in his hometown, which factonistas claim is 26 percent black and 65 percent white, look exactly alike.

"They all look the same to me, they all look like Americans," Lott said, proving that he is blind to silly distinctions like the color of a person's skin.

Lott's extraordinary tolerance extends even to foreigners, as long as they don't try to move illegally to the US. Lott said that he can't figure out why Sunnis and Shiites are fighting each other in Iraq. "Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference?" Lott asked, showing his deep and penetrating concern.

"They all look the same to me," Lott observed.

Senate Minority WhipEdit

Trent Lott
is a United States Senator
for the state of Mississippi

Lott was elected to the position of Minority Whip by his GOP colleagues for the 2007 Senate term. That makes him the second most powerful Republican senator and the 53rd most powerful senator overall. It is widely considered a stepping-stone to Grand Wizard.

Lott lives under a specially-designed toupee-looking device that protects him from Mother Nature and radar waves.

Lott also follows Jon Stewart around. And whenever some Republican does something stupid, he appears on The Daily Show and talks in his Southern drawl-sy, folksy way, laughing and jesting and what was the subject?

Like William Kristol, he shows up on "The Daily Show" every six months or so.

Gay or not gay?Edit

Despite what you may have heard, Trent Lott is not gay. Talk like this is certain to drive Mrs. Lott directly to her fainting couch.

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