The trash-filing cabinet is a vital, I repeat, VITAL social device that is used to combat the scourge of human rats known as "Freegans."

One would ask "why wasn't a Wikiality article written about the Freegans before one was made about trash-filing cabinets? Excellent question. Dr. Stephen Colbert DFA would prefer us to concentrate our efforts on his invention, as one day it will be successfully marketed to be available for Americans to purchase. One day the Freegan infestation will end, and trash-filing cabinets will find another purpose in the world.

The horror of the Freegan menaceEdit

Imagine a world, where loving corporations are undermined by filthy urchins rooting through dumpsters. Money becomes useless, and gay marriage increase to staggering levels. Who would want to live in an America like that? That sounds more like Mexico. That, is where Freegans come in.

The Contents of Dr. Colbert's Trash CabinetsEdit


Colbert's sensitive Trash Archives, sealed deep within in the Colbunker and exempt from any executive order.


  • Banana Peel
  • Capri-Sun
  • Egg Shells


  • Montblanc $700,000 diamond-encrusted pen


  • Salad


Dr. Colbert would like to recognize "The Professor" for his contributions in the creation of the Trash-filing Cabinet. Without his deep and intimate knowledge of sanitation devices, this modern wonder of technology would have never been invented.

More Trash-collecting Fun!Edit

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