Trailers That Are Destroying America

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Trailers That Are Destroying America
is a featured segment of
the Greatest American Television Show--EVER!!!, The Colbert Report.

Summer Movie EditionEdit

May 1, 2008Edit

  • Grampy Ford is back with Indiana Jones
    • Stephen suggests Indiana Jones and The Wheel of Fortune
  • Sex and the City
    • Hollywood is destroying male-female relationships
  • Iron Man
    • positive message
    • celebrating Hollywood arms dealers!
      • Andrew Carnegie and his iron beard
      • Rockfeller's Cheetah's Pelvis

May 27, 2008Edit


  • The Incredible Hulk
    • pushing homoeco-agenda
    • metaphor for Al Gore
      • who, after he embraced the green agenda, got huge
  • Hancock
    • not about founding father John Hancock
    • most desctuctive founding father since Samuel Adams
      • behind the destruction of Stephen's big screen TV
    • Hancock unbeached Ben Franklin
  • Valkyrie
    • Gorlock advised Stephen to invest so he can approve
    • Tom Cruise plays a Nazi pilot
    • message: there were some good Nazis
    • opening pushed back 2nd time: Feb 14, 2009

October 22, 2008 Fall Movie Preview EditionEdit


  • the following segment has been rated R for Rage
  • Dr. Colbert only watches trailers
  • Quantum of Solace
    • James Bond is supposed to be a real man
      • But only portrayed by some figgy pudding sod, not an American
    • when Hollywood portray Bond as sensitive, it hurts America's men
      • less yakktity-yak, and more sackity-sack
  • High School Musical 3: Senior Year
    • Dr. Colbert has never seen HSM1 or 2
      • he knows so little about it, except the plots and character names
    • trailer is dangerously spectacular
    • this movie makes senior year look too good
    • Disney make the next one from the inside a locker
    • arbitrary unfair hierarchy
      • Dr. Colbert never wet his pants after having tater tots thrown at his head
  • Milk
    • 1978 San Francisco
    • a hero willing to take on the agents of lactose intolerance
    • seems like a great story
    • why it was set in San Francisco makes everything seems a bit gay
  • stay tuned for the next artificial butter flavorings that are destroying your heart

Trailers That Are Destroying America
needs to be Colbertized
Please watch and take notes from
the correct episode of The Colbert Report to get it right!

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