Tom Hanks
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process
Tom Hanks
is an insidious part of the
Fancy-pantsification of America!
Stab in the back?
Or slap in the face?
Tom Hanks is one of America's Frenemies.


A Frienemy of Doctor ColbertEpisode #569, Hanks does care about the USO.

Early Life & EducationEdit

"Acting" CareerEdit

Tom Hanks began acting as a retard in the Movie "Big", and continued this theme in the movie "Forrest Gump". A sample of Hanks dialogue from Forrest Gump:

FORREST: Hi, Earl! What’s goin’ on?
EARL: Coons are tryin’ to get into school.
FORREST: Coons!? Well, raccoons try to get on our back porch, Momma just chase ’em off with a broom.
EARL: Not raccoons, you idiot, niggers. And, they want to go to school with us.
FORREST: (with much surprise) With us? They do?

Like Nicholas Cage, Tom Hank's has put his acting career on an infinate hold to showcase his seemingly unnatural ability to solve hundred/thousand year old mysteries.

Confusion About ReligionEdit

Meeting StephenEdit

See AlsoEdit

Tom Hanks
needs to be Colbertized
Please watch and take notes from
the correct episode of The Colbert Report to get it right!

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