Tom Brady

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Tom Brady
Is not a sinner
And never cheated before.
Tom brady

Tom Brady is the quarterba.... Wow! That is one handsome man! ... What was I saying?

"Terrific" Tom Brady is a handsome man who plays quarterback for the New England Patriots, America's Team. Tom Brady's good looks...


God! He's a handsome man!

...where was I?...Um...okay, okay, New England...America's team...Oh! Oh! I remember...Tom's good looks have been known to distract even the most seasoned of professionals, including Stephen Colbert. In 2006, he hit 24 home runs with a .365 batting average, and threw only 2 interceptions, widely blamed on the weak New England receiver corps.

Tom Brady's younger brother Eli is allegedly a professional quarterback as well, playing for the New York Yankees.


Oh crap...oh crap...oh crap...don't turn around! Wait, wait...stay there, no...No!...must...not...look...hey look it's Drew Bledsoe!

Tom Brady has been an advocate of riding motorcycles without a helmet, despite being involved in a serious accident while riding in the sidecar of Carson Palmer's motorcycle in June 2006.

He is known to love Jesus, apple pie and his momma, in that order.

As a child Tom Brady once broke an poorly constructed vase while playing ball in the house. Younger brother Eli repeatedly reminded Tom Brady of their momma's words of warning: "She always said 'Don't play ball in the house.'" Maybe if Eli played ball in the house, he'd be a three-time Super Bowl MVP like his older, more handsome brother.

Baby Mamma DramaEdit

The liberal media continues to print rumors that Tom Brady is the father to a love-child. We all know that "Terrific" Tom Brady would never create a child out of wedlock, though. Moreover, despite media speculation to the contrary, Bill "Balls" Belichick is not the other parent of the rumored Brady love-child even though Brady and Balls Belichick spend so much time together.


  • Tom Brady is not a member of the Brady Bunch.
  • If Tom Brady decided to mate with Paris Hilton, their combined genes would create the most perfect being since Jesus.

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