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"Terrific" Tom Brady is a handsome man who plays quarterback for the New England Patriots, America's Team. Tom Brady's good looks...
...where was I?...Um...okay, okay, New England...America's team...Oh! Oh! I remember...Tom's good looks have been known to distract even the most seasoned of professionals, including Stephen Colbert. In 2006, he hit 24 home runs with a .365 batting average, and threw only 2 interceptions, widely blamed on the weak New England receiver corps.
Tom Brady's younger brother Eli is allegedly a professional quarterback as well, playing for the New York Yankees.
Tom Brady has been an advocate of riding motorcycles without a helmet, despite being involved in a serious accident while riding in the sidecar of Carson Palmer's motorcycle in June 2006.
As a child Tom Brady once broke an poorly constructed vase while playing ball in the house. Younger brother Eli repeatedly reminded Tom Brady of their momma's words of warning: "She always said 'Don't play ball in the house.'" Maybe if Eli played ball in the house, he'd be a three-time Super Bowl MVP like his older, more handsome brother.
Baby Mamma DramaEdit
The liberal media continues to print rumors that Tom Brady is the father to a love-child. We all know that "Terrific" Tom Brady would never create a child out of wedlock, though. Moreover, despite media speculation to the contrary, Bill "Balls" Belichick is not the other parent of the rumored Brady love-child even though Brady and Balls Belichick spend so much time together.
- Tom Brady is not a member of the Brady Bunch.
- If Tom Brady decided to mate with Paris Hilton, their combined genes would create the most perfect being since Jesus.