Ti-89 Titanium

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Ti-89 Titanium
is suffering from a severe overdose of randomness!
Start a Truthiness-IV -STAT!!!
"Ti-89 Titanium"
Is an essential component of's Internets Tube for Nerds

The First PossibilityEdit

TI-89 Titanium - just the name is enough to give those in "the calculus know" an orgasm (also known as a 'Nerdgasm' - signs of which involve pens exploding in pocket protectors and the repeated pushing up of glasses.) It is the most powerful non-QUERTY Calculator in mass production, and is the preferred mathematical tool at all legitimate institutions (namely, my house).
Liberals, however, do not want the public to know this, because with the power given to one by the TI-89 Titanium, a Coup is almost certain, and seriously, who wants Stephen Hawking as our president? The Casio, contrary to the opinion below, was actually invented by the liberals in order to keep the common man down, as well as Stephen Hawking's comically small penis. In fact, the TI-89 Titanium is so manly it has its own penis.
So, if you are ever in need of a computational device with a capacity greater than that of horse manure, please consider the TI-89 Titanium - it will be the best $150 you ever spent.

A Second OpinionEdit

The TI-89 Titanium graphing calculator is the calculator used by real Americans. It is the Jesus of all graphing calculators (TI Voyage being God). It is superior to Casio calculators in every way, bar none. Casios are used by communists, terrorists, hippies, and Hugo Chavez. In fact, North Korea tried to use a TI-89 Titanium to build a nuclear bomb, but it was so American that it rebelled and refused to perform even any of the most basic calculations (i.e. 2 + 2 = 5). The North Koreans had to use a Casio to complete a substandard nuclear weapon, which can't even hit the U.S. For those of you keeping score, TI-89 Titanium: 1, Casio/communist sunglass wearing despots: 0.

Americans love the TI-89 titanium because it renders every math class they have ever taken obsolete, and it is slightly more compact than carrying an Asian to class with you. It can do literally anything, including obliterating your opponents with its mind. TI stands for Texas Instruments, so it is physically impossible to mess with, much like our current Texan president, G. Dubs.

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